How to make useful contacts and business acquaintances from the first conversation. Ordering procedure. Where to look for new business connections

1. Don't be afraid to talk to strangers

Talking to the person you like can be really scary. Suddenly you seem boring, say stupid, or simply ignore you, believing that you are not important enough to waste time on you. Psychologists call this fear of rejection. To cope with it, they advise you to relax and think about the fact that no matter how important this conversation may seem to you now, the interlocutor is unlikely to remember it for a long time and will not attach much importance if it is not very successful.

In addition, they advise practicing talking to strangers in situations in which you are practically protected from rejection. For example, when you are a customer. You can talk to sellers and bartenders without fear of being rude in response, because being nice to you is their job. In addition, many of them have not heard a kind word from a client for a long time.

2. Start with common places

Psychologist Carol Fleming invented the so-called ARE (Anchor, Reveal, Encourage) method, which helps to painlessly start a conversation with a stranger. The first thing to do is find something that unites you and the person you are talking to. The simpler and more obvious the topic, the better. For example, you can complain about bad weather or a long line at the bar.

At the next stage, you need to tell something personal about yourself, which can give the interlocutor a clue for further development conversation. For example, you might say that you know the organizer of an event, or that bad weather caused you to miss your run this morning. If you decide to announce your place of work, tell us about what you usually do. After establishing contact, you should involve the interlocutor in the conversation by asking him a question - most importantly, not too personal. You can ask what brought a person to this event, whether he likes it here, and so on.

3. Think about topics in advance

To choose a topic for conversation, you can rely on the so-called FORD rule. This is an abbreviation for the words family, profession, leisure, dreams. Light, unobtrusive topics are the basis of a short conversation. Come up with a few questions for yourself on each topic and use them on occasion. Experts advise avoiding when meeting such heavy and conflicting the way politics, religion and childhood memories. An ideal conversation should consist of short statements and questions so that, on average, each of the interlocutors speaks for an equal amount of time.

The main thing is to constantly offer your partner a topic with which he could work. Don't worry if it takes a few tries to find a topic that interests the other person. Don't get stuck on one topic, let the conversation flow quietly from one area to another. And remember that you don't have to be a star and say amazing things all the time. Use words related to sensations: see, imagine, feel. This will set the person in a special mood, it will be easier for him to open up and relax in your presence.

4. Ask open-ended questions

To feel more confident, do homework - prepare for the event by reading about the people who will be there by watching last newsto find potential conversation topics. When asking questions of the interlocutor, remember a few rules. First, they should be pretty simple. Secondly, the questions should be such that they cannot be answered in monosyllables, yes and no.

Remember that the first conversation is about establishing informal relationships, not dealing with business issues and selling your services. It is much more enjoyable to do business with someone whose company you like. You can only talk about your product or service if the other person asks you about them. So that your answer does not change the general tone of the conversation too much, prepare a small informal story about your company at home, for example, about what projects you have recently completed, what clients you have worked with.

5. Monitor your behavior

When you start a conversation, it doesn't really matter what you say. Open pose (turning the body and head towards the interlocutor, open palms, uncrossed legs) and a friendly tone at the first stage are more important than the meaning of the words spoken. You don't have to be witty and come up with unusual topics to start a conversation. Your task is simply to show the person that you will be pleased to talk to him, that he is generally interesting to you.

Do not talk with a bored expression on your face, do not reach your phone, but do not overdo it: the person will be uncomfortable if you stand too close, look at him too intently and tell too much personal.

6. Say nice things

Everyone loves to hear compliments addressed to them. The problem is that, along with hidden joy, people simultaneously feel uncomfortable and do not know how to react to them correctly. To prevent this from happening, psychologist Susan Kraus advises diluting the compliment with a quick transition to another topic.

For example: “I really like your dress, it suits you very much. How do you like this party? " The bottom line is that following the compliment, the question neutralizes the feeling of awkwardness. At the time of acquaintance, it is best to briefly look a person in the eyes, and then take them away. It also contributes to establishing contact that does not cross the boundaries of personal space. Experts advise to look up at the interlocutor about once every five seconds. If you look at him intently, without being distracted, the person will be uncomfortable.

7. Summarize the conversation

Practice end-of-conversation options in your mind. Tell the interlocutor that for some reason you will need to leave, using the wording "I'm sorry, I need to." For example, you can say that you saw an acquaintance with whom you have not seen for a long time, or you want to take yourself something to eat, because you are very hungry. Express your gratitude for the interesting conversation by briefly summarizing what you said. For example: “It was great to talk to you, I will definitely read the book that you advised. " At the end, you can offer to exchange contacts ...

27.06.2017 10:53:17

“It all started when a friend recommended your course to me. At that time, I was in a strange state: I met a man who did not plan a serious future with me, outwardly looked like a kid - a woman who had forgotten her femininity.

I completed the course assignments slowly, constantly overcoming internal resistance. I went back, did it again, until it started to work out.

From the very first days, she hid 80% of all her clothes, began to sew and buy only skirts and dresses. Now I have only two pairs of pants in my wardrobe and I can't go on business without putting on makeup and putting myself in order. Now I see what a powerful message a person's appearance gives, the ability to dress harmoniously, tidiness, a smile (!) "

I want to draw your attention: on the course we do not just learn how to paint and dress, but we master the basics of the profession of a makeup artist and stylist. This allows our cadets to increase their self-esteem!

"... A smile is my separate accessory, which is now always with me. The first thing that men say when they get acquainted is that it is simply impossible not to approach a girl with such a smile!

More clients have appeared, business contacts and connections have become stronger, because I began to use to the maximum any acquaintance, I constantly carry business cards with me, talk about what I do.

I see that the ability to "tasty" and exciting storytelling is very important quality self-presentation, I'm working on it now. I also realized that it is very important to become diversified, interesting personwho can lead and maintain an interesting conversation. From experience, I was convinced that successful men have a very high degree of observation, they have seen a lot of things, they have been a lot, so they are simply not interested in talking about simple or everyday things. They appreciate the ability to create a mood and lightness of the moment, non-standard interesting conversation, sincerity. And this is possible only when we manage to see the soul of a person and sincerely admire it, then the most real miracles happen. For this, Oksana, thank you very much! "

Yes, developing communication skills can work wonders. And the main criterion for completing the third month of the course (where we, in fact, learn these skills) is new successful acquaintances. And step up the social ladder.

"... Completing the tasks of the first two months, I waited with bated breath for the tasks of the 3rd month in journalism. The advice on training on cats is a brilliant idea! Animals feel very good when you stroke them with a desire to please, or vice versa sincerely, from all souls admiring ... "

Although this practice is simple, but it is it that allows our cadets to comprehend the DAO, and go the right way. Through Femininity and Charm :).

"... So I began to sincerely, from the bottom of my heart make good eye contact with them, they, like people, feel it sooo quickly. Surprisingly, the animals themselves began to approach and shine.

The other day I came to visit a familiar man, and he was very much surprised by the fact that his cat could not come off me in any way. The main thing I learned from this task is the child's sincerity, ingenuity and inner spontaneity.

After cats, I started a taxi driver period, I go in a taxi every day, so there was a reason to take a walk. At first it was difficult to start a conversation from scratch, but then I got a taste and realized that you can talk about absolutely anything, it is easy to change topics and take the conversation in any direction. Then, after six months of work on additional materials, the period of real acquaintances began.

Special and many thanks to you for the communication algorithm! I printed it out and read it constantly. And I understand that in communicating with a man, and with any person in principle, the main thing is to carefully push into the background your ego, bias, evaluative judgments, and try to see a person first of all with the Heart. And then amazing things happen - sincere, frank conversations happen, all doors open, people do their best to help.

I also really liked to give compliments. Men are just crazy about it. It turns out that no one tells them such simple things as they drive the car well, what confident movements they have, how they are tactful, smart and attentive. This is a very big discovery for me, just one phrase, and so easily disposes a person to you. And most importantly, this is not flattery, but pure truth.

With this period I coincided with the period of work at the school of urban design, where the main task is endless conversations with people, local residents, business representatives. It's amazing how many reasons for conversation I have discovered for myself. With absolutely any passer-by, you can discuss issues of improving the city. Then I realized that absolutely any person is worried about it. I often discuss the city with interesting men, business owners, as it turned out, this topic worries a lot. Sometimes I myself go up to a man I like, I struggle with inner tremors, but I come up. The most stupid question that works in my case is: "How do you feel or how do you feel about the fact that a girl comes up to meet you?" On the street or in public place I can ask: "How do you feel about the city in which you live? Why?" In general, if something hooks me in a person's appearance or clothes, I can calmly and without fear ask about it ... "

If you continue in the same spirit, you will soon learn how to make new and useful connections out of nowhere, and literally forge money out of thin air. As a rule, these girls marry the best of the best :).

"... One of the results of the last month (very important for me!) - men immediately began to call out on dates, before they were somehow afraid to approach, but then they suddenly started courting. Even former men livened up - they write letters, make compliments, give flowers and they say that they really want everything in my life to work out. Several fans are a very great achievement for me! .. "

You have attained the first stage of DAO. And we realized that any quantitative actions necessarily turn into qualitative ones. Continue to work on yourself. And what will happen next, I have already written :).

"... Another result: the number of clients has increased. I work for myself, and for me maintaining good relationships with clients is a very important component. I have a lot of male clients, and I see how they enjoy working with me, because I ask a lot of questions, not only about work, but also about life, and I really listen to their answers.

Well, the most important result. A serious relationship began. Initially, I am in no hurry to translate them into a romantic channel. We talk a lot, go to the movies, talk. This man helps me incredibly much with advice and deed, despite the fact that we do not have any intimacy (!) Previously, I would have thought all the time that I would have to do something in return, but now I just relaxed and began to enjoy what is happening ".

Helena.

Along with the questions about how to get rid of energy attachments, magicians are often asked how, on the contrary, to strengthen them, and whether it is possible to do this independently and safely. The answer is - it is possible! I will only be glad if the practices that I give you are useful to you. Once I myself received them from my teachers, and now I am happy to tell the readers of my blog about them. So how to establish a strong energetic connection with your loved one? There are many ways to do this, and not necessarily magical. The main thing is to know the basic principle of the formation and existence of these ties.
At the moment of finding new relationships or maintaining existing ones, you need to invest your inner warmth and energy in them. Each person has their own "account" in the "bank of emotions" of another person. It is on this principle that all relationships between people are based. You to me, and I to you. Any relationship is a mutually beneficial cooperation between two partners. Whether you like it or not, you need to accept this axiom so that you can successfully move on.
The main tool in creating or strengthening an energy connection is the subconscious.
Plus, of course, it takes some patience. The material world is inert, it is slowly changing, so it takes time to fulfill your desire. To do this, set aside at least five to ten minutes a day. The best time for this is night when you have already gone to bed and closed your eyes. Another auspicious time is morning, when you have just woken up and have not yet had time to open your eyes. In this relaxed state, you are between sleep and wakefulness. At this moment, the gates of the subconscious are most open to influence.
1. Merger. Imagine your lover standing in front of you. Connect with him in full love, let your imagination merge your bodies and souls together. Penetrate each other, connect every cell of your bodies, become one single whole at the energy level. Imagine that there is a real diffusion of your cells. You have penetrated each other with your whole body, with your whole being. Now imagine that rose and lotus petals are falling on you from the sky, and they surround you with a magical beautiful scent. Both of you are engulfed in a golden and green glow that grows brighter and brighter. This light becomes so bright that it floods everything around. At the moment of visualization, it is necessary to maintain concentration of attention on the chakras Anahata (heart), and at the moment of unification on Svadhisthana (area below the navel), as well as to evoke a feeling of love, tenderness and interpenetration. This will replenish your emotional balance in your partner's account and will constantly refresh your senses.
IN real life do not forget to replenish this balance by doing various pleasant things and gifts to your lover, massage and various services, it strengthens relationships and adds love.
2. Love telepathy. How to convey to your partner the necessary thoughts, feelings and emotions about you and your harmonious union. To do this, take a photo of the person to whom you want to convey your "message". If you do not have a photograph, you can draw an object on paper, write its name, date of birth. Try to feel his presence. All people are constantly unconsciously receiving and emitting subtle information in the form of energy impulses-waves. Each is at its own wavelength. To tune in to the wave of the person you want to tie to yourself, you need to focus on him and feel him near.
- plunge into a light trance and relax the muscles of the body;
- carefully look at the photo (drawing) of this person, 1-3 minutes. Concentrate on it;
- close your eyes, imagine it very brightly and realistically;
- mentally say the words that you want to convey to him;
- Imagine how your thoughts pass into the frontal chakra, Ajna (third eye, nose bridge area) and radiate from there in the form of a golden ray of energy;
- this golden ray reaches this person, through his third eye it penetrates into his head and is fixed there with light, bright - yours! - images.
It sounds difficult, but it's actually all easy, especially if you practice. The duration of this practice is from 5 minutes every day. To make the effect stronger, you can do it 3 times a day.
3. "Night mail". Forming energy connections during sleep is especially effective. Therefore, you can make the transfer of your thoughts and images when he (she) is sleeping. When a person sleeps, during REM sleep, consciousness exchanges information with the subconscious. In this case, the brain is programmed (behavior, instincts, metabolism). At this time, the words that you put into his mental stream will be very powerful.
4. Solar circle. Helps to ignite the flame of love in the heart of someone you like.
This practice can be done anytime, anywhere if you want to win the heart of a loved one. Performed in close contact or long distance. Works for both men and women. It is also advisable to perform it at night when the beloved is sleeping.
- close your eyes and imagine both of you in a certain outlined circle, the boundaries of which can be any;
- imagine the shining Sun above you;
- now focus on feelings of love for this person;
- put all your love and your image into this Sun;
- then command the Sun to fly to this person, penetrate into his very heart and kindle there ardent love for you;
- keep the Sun and your image in its heart for 3-5 minutes;
- Imagine that the boundaries of the circle have moved a little, thus bringing this person closer to you. Then release the vision.
Repeat daily for 28 days and soon you will notice that the person has become indifferent to you.
It works very effectively and is not a love spell. The sun leaves no negative effects and

According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, 70 percent of all jobs in the US are found through personal connections... Since networking is the most efficient way to find a job, it is essential to manage it efficiently. Whether you find contacts through cold contacts or simply through dating, follow following rules so that networking can bring positive results and helped you successfully find the job you are looking for.

1. You need to understand why you are in contact with a person

Once you have identified a list of people you would like to connect with, determine what you want to achieve from your conversation. Here are some ideas for what information you can get.

When communicating with people on your contact list, it is important to understand in advance what exactly you want to convey to them. What would you like them to know about you when they talk to you? The best way to achieve this goal is to retell the homework of others corresponding to your goals of communication with this person. While you may want to avoid being overly pretentious with your contacts, all of them, including your friends and acquaintances, will love your preparation, brevity, focus, and persuasiveness. If you are clear they will be able to give you more possible recommendations.

3. Learn something new from each contact person

Your contact persons have a lot of information that is useful to you. Learn from them professional experience, as well as which will help in career advancement. If they work for a company or industry of interest to you, do not be afraid to ask specific questions about the work environment in their company and the challenges they face in the workflow. Use this as an opportunity to learn more about how your skills can fit the needs of the company. You can also understand that this company doesn't suit you at all. Each such communication should help you discover new opportunities, or exclude those that do not correspond to your goals.

4. Receive two new recommendations for possible employment from each contact person

Try to get two recommendations when communicating with your contact person. This will provide the most complete coverage of potential opportunities. Here are some questions you can ask: "Can you recommend someone who might be helpful in your job search?" and "Who else should I talk to about this topic?" If you act professionally, most of them will not feel an additional burden and will be happy to recommend someone to help you.

5. After receiving new recommendations, be sure to contact each of the recommended ones.

You never know what the other person has to offer you until you ask them. Anyone who doesn't have a clear blueprint for your job search can still be an important link with those who can help you. It's important to remember that if you don't contact the recommended person, it can lead to a negative impression of you. Not only will the person who recommended you hesitate to refer to others, but the person recommended will be less likely to help you if you reach out later.

6. Write thank you letters to all the people you interview

Gratitude is a powerful virtue. In a certain way, the kindness shown to you in the job search process is worth expressing your appreciation to them. Expressing appreciation for the time, attention, advice and guidance of others creates a positive atmosphere and makes a good impression on them. It also provides an opportunity to continue to show others your skills and interest in your contact person.

7. Keep an accurate record of the actions you take after the call.

In the process of making connections, you will receive a huge amount of information and new contacts, which in turn will require a large number of additional actions, such as phone calls, sending a resume, and thank you letters... Organize these activities well so you don't miss any other opportunities. Use a form, spreadsheet, email folder, or calendar to track phone calls. It is important to remember the following:

• Who did you talk to
• How did you find out about him / Who recommended this person to you
• When you were in touch with this person
• What did you discuss
• What actions you need to take
• When you plan to finish these steps

An effective approach will empower you in the job search process and your contacts will appreciate your timely communication with them.

Following these rules of networking will guarantee successful use one of the most effective ways job search. By putting these rules into practice, the process of networking will become simple, natural and intuitive for you. After a while, you will become a professional in this matter.

Correct acquaintances. Networking Without Secrets Anderson Burt

Chapter Four How to Establish Business Relationships Correctly?

Chapter four

How to establish business relationships correctly?

In the process of acquaintance and creation of new business contacts, an ordinary business card plays an essential role. A business card is the primary tool of any networker who meets a new person “live”. In addition, this is an important attribute of any business person - a business card is both a working tool and an element of the image. Therefore, its importance should not be underestimated.

If you want to be remembered and distinguished from the general mass of new people already at the first meeting, pay close attention to your business card. Chinese wisdom says: "A person has many opportunities, but he will never have the opportunity to make a second first impression." There are no two identical personalities, each person is individual. And to emphasize your individuality, order for yourself original business cards with a memorable design and on good thick paper. It will be pleasant to hold such a business card in your hands and be interesting to consider - which means that you will be remembered and distinguished. But you can't overdo it here either, an overly painted and overly creative business card is needed only for a circus clown, a business person should also have business cards in business style... Make it a rule to always carry enough of your business cards, and at any event, distribute at least seven of them.

When exchanging a business card with the person you need, it is also important to be able to accept cards correctly - we have already talked about this. And in the process of exchanging business cards, you should introduce yourself, and this should be done succinctly and concisely. Practice doing this in advance by mentally creating a presentation template for yourself:

1. Your name.

2. Your profession and the name of the company you work for.

3. Short description what you can be useful to people (perhaps this will be a story about your product or service).

For example, a presentation might look like this: "Ivan Danilov, Lead Lawyer at Pravoslov, legal services for large and medium businesses ". Briefly, succinctly and to the point. After you have introduced yourself, should you listen to the presentation of your counterpart?

Your further actions will depend on what is the purpose of your trip to the event. If your goal is to meet this particular person, continue the conversation with him, starting with neutral general topics and gradually trying to find common ground. This is where the NLP techniques we have discussed can be of great help.

If you came to an event with the aim of making several new contacts, then after a short communication with your new acquaintance (as a rule, 5-10 minutes of conversation is enough) you should turn your attention to other guests. An important point: how to interrupt a conversation with a new acquaintance carefully and politely? The moment the conversation starts to dry out, apologize, say that you need to say hello to a colleague or acquaintance, and step away. It would be extremely impolite to simply turn around and leave after meeting.

Often at events, you can see people standing alone who do not join the conversation groups and, quite possibly, feel uncomfortable with the situation. This is a great opportunity to make contact - come up to such a lonely person and introduce yourself, it will be very useful for him and for you.

A good reason to introduce yourself and be remembered by people turns up during conferences and seminars. Knowing in advance the protocol of such an event and the range of issues to be discussed, prepare your question at home, which you can ask the conference participants. At the event itself, ask for the floor at the right time, then stand up, introduce yourself loudly and clearly and ask your question. After the conference, you will find that most of its participants will remember you and recognize you by sight - and now it will be much easier for you to get to know and make contact with someone specific.

So, the event is over, new contacts have been established, business cards have been received from new acquaintances. So, what is next? Put your trophies in a business card holder and forget about them until the right moment? In no case! A contact that is not supported by further communication very soon depreciates and loses its relevance both for you and for the person who gave you the business card. To keep contacts up-to-date, they must be constantly maintained. For example, send a short and polite email to a friend of yesterday expressing the joy of meeting him. Or invite him over for a cup of coffee, call for a short conversation, a kind of "courtesy call" in the telephone version. And, of course, do not forget to congratulate your business acquaintances on the holidays - email or a postcard sent by mail will be enough.

In addition, what to do to establish contacts should be remembered and what should not be done. This will help you avoid mistakes and become a truly effective networker. So, what you can't do when meeting:

You should not try to benefit from a new contact at the first meeting. This kind of consumerism can alienate the person from you. Everyone understands perfectly well that new connections are being forged in order to derive some benefit from them, but one should not rush things.

No need to make a sale from an acquaintance. Of course, we consider each new acquaintance primarily as a potential client, but you should not try to make deals at the first contact. Even if your product or service is interesting to a new acquaintance, you can offer it during the next meeting.

You should not offer your help and your services in the first minutes of meeting, although this seems to you a good way to immediately establish contact. This behavior can make the person suspicious that you need something from him. It is better to offer your help in the event that a person in a conversation with you mentions some of his problems. And then you can do this only once - if your offer is rejected, it is better not to repeat it.

You cannot try to derive any benefit from a relationship that was not forged by you. It is unacceptable to send any letters and suggestions to people with whom you are not personally familiar (for example, your colleagues or relatives are familiar with them). Such actions will only cause quite natural irritation. If you are interested in this person, it is better to find an opportunity to get to know him personally, and only then come forward with your business proposals.

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