Grind body language in a mortar. Body and sign language: what do the different gestures mean for men and women? Open and closed human postures

It is natural for a person to express his emotions and feelings in the process of communication, regardless of oral presentation or in the form of written messages. People, in direct contact with each other, using facial expressions, body language and gestures bring bright colors to the story. There is an opportunity to understand whether the interlocutor was interested in this topic or left him indifferent.

Non-verbal communication. True or myth?

Some people question the existence of body language, considering all the talk on this topic to be empty fiction.

Opponents of the theory of postures and gestures argue that changes in body position occur for completely different reasons. For example, when sitting, it is more convenient for a person to cross his arms if there are no armrests, and not at all because he is a misanthrope.

They start yawning not only because they start to get bored. Lack of oxygen in a cramped office or overwork can trigger this process. Therefore, before formulating conclusions, it is necessary to understand why the interlocutor began to actively gesticulate or rotate an object in his hands.

An experiment will help reveal sign language. And the test subjects can be friends and relatives, facial expressions, postures and gestures of which in different life situations change. But in no case should you impose and press, otherwise you can damage long-term friendship and good relations.

Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication is the process of transmitting thoughts without the use of speech - the second signaling system. It absorbs 60-80% of the covert information.

Each of us, communicating with an opponent who correctly expresses the essence of the matter and arguing facts, often feels a kind of catch in his words. But, despite the reliability and truthfulness of the information, intuition suggests that you should not rely entirely on this person. And with further communication, discomfort is felt, the person is looking for something to find fault with.

And, indeed, the interlocutor is betrayed by changes in facial expressions, posture and gestures that contradict his smooth presentation. Some kind of inconsistency appears and there are serious fears that he is not acting in your best interest.

It is difficult for a person to restrain emotions for a long time, they must find a way out. But due to circumstances, the rules of decency and norms of society, we are not free to surrender to the will of feelings and express them, changing posture, facial expressions and gestures. Often this behavior becomes the norm and turns into a habit.

Examples of non-verbal communication

• If a girl, showing her wrist, communicates with a representative of the opposite sex, she lets him know that she is ready to get closer to him. And if she still paints her lips with bright lipstick, then he really became the object of her passion.

• There is a common method of making contact with new acquaintances: you should copy his gestures and postures. If the interlocutor has crossed his arms, you can repeat this gesture. This manipulation promotes non-verbal communication. There is a whole body of such little tricks.

To grasp the true meaning, you need to pay close attention to the position of the interlocutor's arms and legs.

Mainly gestures and postures emphasize the correctness, and sometimes contradict what was said.

It is hard to believe a person with crossed limbs convincing another of good intentions. It is unlikely that he will fulfill his promise. Surely he uses the location and trust of partners in his personal interests.

Through gestures and posture, you can hide some information from opponents. Despite the ease and ease of communication, the posture makes it clear that the owner does not intend to share important information with anyone.

The psychology of gestures

Alan Pisa, a famous psychologist, is called "Mr. Body Language." The author has released his works in millions of copies. Alana Pease set out to not only teach the reader to "decode" body language, but also to apply the acquired knowledge in practice. Even the slightest changes do not escape his attention, right up to the dilation of the pupils and eyelid confusion.

First, there is an opportunity to establish communications.

Secondly, it is possible with a high degree of probability to calculate the further actions of a person.

From the standpoint of psychological knowledge, Alan focuses on the distinctive features of behavior and gestures in women and men.

In addition to gender differences, the body movements of managers and subordinates differ sharply. Observing a conversation, you can record a rapid change in emotions.

Non-verbal behavior and gestures

• If a friend is hunching down, this indicates that he was inflicted with the strongest offense or he experienced severe stress. The exorbitant "severity of problems" does not allow him to straighten his shoulders. He is uncomfortable with the fact that he cannot cope with the situation and thus closes.

• If the interlocutor leans towards the speaker, it means that he is interested in the topic of the conversation. So he tries to get closer to the source of information.

• By tilting his head and simultaneously dropping his eyelids, the interlocutor expresses complete approval. There is no doubt about his respectful attitude. On the contrary, if a person often touches his face with his hands, touching his eyes or the corners of his mouth, he does not trust you.

• The state of the individual is betrayed by the hands. With excitement and irritation, it is common for a person to stroke himself, straighten his hair, or roll and fiddle with the first objects in his hands. Sometimes he sticks his fingers in his mouth. In this case, he needs the support and approval of his opponent.

• Open palms demonstrate trust, openness, willingness to cooperate. If he doesn't cross his elbows and legs, he will appeal to you. And if he put his hands behind his back and raised his chin high, he thereby demonstrates his superiority.

• To convince a partner of a serious and responsible approach to further cooperation, the following method should be used. During business negotiations, it is necessary to mentally draw a triangle between the eyes of the potential partner above the bridge of the nose and look into this area.

75 Signs of Body Language by Max Eggert

By the end of the 20th century, a new type of sociologist, a specialist in the field of non-verbalism, appeared. Just as an ornithologist enjoys observing the behavior of birds, the non-verbalist enjoys observing non-verbal signs and signals when people communicate. He watches them at formal receptions, on the beach, on television, at work - wherever people interact. He studies the behavior of people, seeking to learn more about the actions of his comrades in order to thereby learn more about himself and how to improve his relationships with other people. It seems almost unbelievable that over more than a million years of human evolution, the non-verbal aspects of communication began to be seriously studied only in the early sixties, and the public became aware of their existence only after Julius Fast published his book in 1970. This book summarized the research done by behavioral scientists prior to 1970 on the non-verbal aspects of communication, but even today most people are still unaware of the existence of body language, despite its importance in their lives.

Charlie Chaplin and other silent film actors were the pioneers of non-verbal communication, for them it was the only means of communication on the screen. Each actor was classified as good or bad, judging by how he could use gestures and other body movements to communicate. As sound films became popular and less attention was paid to the non-verbal aspects of acting, many silent film actors left the stage, and actors with pronounced verbal abilities began to dominate the screen.

With regard to the technical side of the study of the problem of bodybuilding; perhaps the most influential work of the early 20th century was Charles Darwin's The Expression of Emotions in Humans and Animals, published in 1872. It stimulated modern research in the field of “body language,” and many of Darwin's ideas and observations are now recognized by researchers all over the world. Since that time, scientists have discovered and recorded over 1000 non-verbal signs and signals.

Albert Meyerabian found that information transfer occurs through verbal means (words only) by 7%, through sound means (including tone of voice, intonation of sound) by 38%, and through non-verbal means by 55%. Professor Birdwissl has done similar research on the proportion of non-verbal means in human communication. He found that the average person speaks in words only for 10-11 minutes a day, and that each sentence is on average no more than 2.5 seconds. Like Meyerabian, he found that verbal communication in conversation takes up less than 35%, and more than 65% of the information is transmitted using non-verbal means of communication.

Most researchers share the opinion that the verbal (verbal) channel is used to convey information, while the non-verbal channel is used to "discuss" interpersonal relationships, and in some cases is used instead of verbal messages. For example, a woman can give a man a murderous look, and she will clearly convey her attitude to him without even opening her mouth.

Regardless of a person's cultural level, the words and their accompanying movements coincide with such a degree of predictability that Birdwissle even claims that a well-trained person can tell by voice what movement a person is making. the moment of pronouncing this or that phrase. Conversely, Birdwissl learned to determine which voice a person speaks by observing his gestures at the time of speech.

Many people find it difficult to admit that a person is still a biological being. Homo sapiens is a type of large, furless monkey that has learned to walk on two legs and has a well-developed brain. Like other animals, we obey biological laws that control our actions, reactions, "body language" and gestures. Surprisingly, the animal man rarely realizes that his posture, gestures and movements can contradict what his voice communicates.

When we say that a person is sensitive and intuitive, we mean that he or she has the ability to read other person's non-verbal cues and compare those cues with verbal cues. In other words, when we say that we have a premonition, or that our “sixth sense” tells us that someone was not telling the truth, we really mean that we noticed a discord between the body language and the words that person said. Lecturers call this the feeling of the audience. For example, if listeners sit deep in chairs with their chins down and their arms folded across their chests, the receptive person will have a premonition that their message is not going to be successful. He will understand that something needs to be changed in order to interest the audience. And an unresponsive person, accordingly, will not pay attention to this and will aggravate his mistake.

Women are usually more sensitive than men and this explains the existence of such a thing as female intuition. Women have an innate ability to notice and decipher non-verbal signals, to record the smallest details. Therefore, few husbands can deceive their wives, and, accordingly, most women can find out the secret of a man by his eyes, which he does not even suspect.

This female intuition is especially well developed in women raising young children.

For the first few years, the mother relies only on non-verbal communication with her child, and it is believed that, due to her intuition, women are more suitable for negotiating than men.

While much research has been done, there is a heated debate about whether non-verbal cues are innate or acquired, transmitted genetically, or acquired in some other way. The evidence came from observation of blind, deaf, and deaf-mute people who could not learn non-verbal through auditory or visual receptors. Observations were also made on the gestural behavior of various nations and the behavior of our closest anthropological relatives, monkeys and macaques, was studied.

The findings of these studies indicate that gestures lend themselves to classification. For example, most primate babies are born with the ability to suck, indicating that this ability is either innate or genetic.

The German scientist Aibl - Eibesfeldt established that the ability to smile in deaf or blind children from birth is manifested without any training or copying, which confirms the hypothesis of innate gestures. Ekman, Friesen, and Zorenzan confirmed some of Darwin's assumptions about innate gestures when they studied facial expressions from people from five deeply different cultures. They found that people from different cultures used the same facial expressions when expressing certain emotions, which led them to conclude that these gestures must be innate.

When you cross your arms over your chest, are you crossing your right arm over your left or your left over your right? Most people cannot reliably answer this question until they have done it. In one case, they will feel comfortable, in another case, they will not. From this we can conclude that this is possibly a genetic gesture that cannot be changed.

There is also controversy over whether some of the gestures are acquired and culturally determined or genetic. For example, most men put on their coat starting from the right sleeve, while most women start putting on their coat from the left sleeve. When a man lets a woman pass on a crowded street, he usually turns his body towards the woman as he passes; the woman usually passes by turning away from him. Does she do it instinctively to protect her breasts? Is this a congenital gesture of a woman, or did she unknowingly learn it by observing other women?

Whoever owns information owns the world. Our desire to know everything about the world around us and the people with whom we interact is the main difference from the animal world. However, our words are often at odds with our gestures. This is why the psychology of body language is unique. Even if we are not telling the truth, but trying to hide it, a professional will quickly determine by our gestures and body movements what our true motives are. In addition, body language can tell almost everything about a person: about his mood, habits, weaknesses, and even social status. In order to understand who is in front of us in any conversation, let's try to study the secret techniques of body language.

Non-verbal communication includes gestures, postures, and facial expressions. With their help, about 50% of all information is transmitted. The other 50 percent are voice, intonation and appearance.

The most striking example, where almost all components of body language are manifested, are couples in love. Body language in lovers can be overt, or hidden, unconscious. However, both partners intuitively and without words understand each other. True, the guy's body language is much more modest compared to those non-verbal techniques that a girl uses. As an example, consider the gestures and body movements of both sexes when courting or trying to attract attention.

1. The man. At the sight of a woman: smoothes hair, preps up, straightens the collar of a shirt or tie, brushes a non-existent speck of dust off his shoulder. One of the more aggressive forms of male body language is the characteristic pinning of the fingers behind the belt. Thus, it accentuates the genital area. It is also common to see the man's hands on his hips. Thus, he demonstrates his physical strength and readiness to communicate with a woman. If a woman is really interested in a male representative, then his pupils will be dilated, and his gaze will linger on the object of interest for a few seconds longer than expected.
2. Woman. The body language of women is in many ways more sophisticated than that of the stronger sex. Purely feminine gestures and body movements include: a sharp shake of hair in order to throw it back, swaying the hips in order to show them, a slightly open mouth and moist lips. At the sight of a potential partner, a woman can demonstrate her wrist (one of the strongest erogenous zones of a woman). This teasing gesture with the wrist is especially pronounced in women who smoke. Another interesting part of body language is the legs. If a man almost always spreads his legs wide to demonstrate his genitals, then a woman, on the contrary, almost always crosses her legs. However, if a woman is interested in a partner, her knee will be directed towards the object of interest. Do not forget about cylindrical objects. You can often see a woman stroking a glass or a cigarette with her finger. This is a hint to the partner about what may be on the mind of this person. Also, do not forget about the sidelong look and the languid, insinuating voice.

Hand body language

Another important role in the transmission of information is played by the body language of the hand. It is especially important for businessmen and people in leadership positions. For example:

Body language has a huge number of hidden and explicit non-verbal signals. It is important to remember that if a person is open to communication, then all his gestures towards you will be the same. Those. open palms of hands, open eyes and no crossing of legs. When communicating with loved ones, do not use superior gestures - do not put your hands behind your head and do not raise your chin high. It is better to lean towards the interlocutor, direct your feet towards him, tilt your head to the side, smile. In this case, you will be considered not only a pleasant interlocutor in all respects, but they will also support your point of view.

It is believed that words can convey any information. However, gestures speak much more than simple ones. A person's posture, his unconscious actions betray emotions and attitude towards the interlocutor and what is happening. The problem of understanding gestures has always worried people. If you understand the meaning of non-verbal signs, you can easily distinguish truth from lies and understand what people are hiding. How to learn to “read” people in a few minutes? How ?

What is the psychology of body gestures?

The psychology of body language and gestures is related to the psychology of non-verbal communication, which studies human behavior, and also interprets his facial expressions, gestures, posture. Physiognomy is also distinguished - a pseudoscience that determines character traits and predicts a person's future.

Human facial expressions are "universal" in all countries of the world, that is, you do not need to have special knowledge to understand human emotions. All equally show joy, surprise, anger. A person understands these gestures from birth. But there are those signs that are very rarely paid attention to. This can be body position, sight, specific movements. Especially if a person is nervous, then he ceases to control his body. It is important to interpret the gestures correctly. For example: if a person is cold, he may cross his arms over his chest. This posture, in this case, does not indicate a person's isolation or insecurity.

Important: gestures are not always a set of instructions or templates by which you can tell exactly what a person is feeling or hiding.

Body language and body language are hard to fake. To learn it, you just need to be careful. By memorizing the basic meanings of body language, you can learn a lot about the interlocutor, even what he is trying to masterfully hide.

A lot of books have been written that tell about typical and atypical positions of the head, arms, legs, facial expressions. Here are some examples.

Head and its position when speaking

A person who keeps his head upright, confident, communicative and open.

Theatrically raised head up speaks of self-confidence, arrogance and narcissism.

If they throw their heads back when talking, this indicates a willingness to act and make decisions.

The head sways to one side. Such a person gives up, is ready to obey, refuses to lead.

Bowing of the head down - weakness, cowardice.

Facial expressions

An open look speaks of the sincerity of the interlocutor, of his lively character.

Closed eyes are a sign of indifference, passivity to what is happening. Still, such a look can indicate a person's severe fatigue, so this point should be clarified so as not to accidentally accuse the interlocutor of indifference.

Squinted eyes are cunning, cunning, evil plans. You need to take a closer look at such a person, he can conceive something negative in relation to other participants in the conversation.

An eye-to-eye look shows that a person is tuned in to dialogue, interest and trust.

Distrust and skepticism shows a look when the pupils are directed to the bridge of the nose.

Those who are aggressively disposed and trying to put their intentions into action look from under their brows.

If a person bows and looks down, it speaks of helpfulness and submissiveness.

If the interlocutor does not look into the eyes of the other participants in the conversation, obviously, he is hiding something and is not sure of himself. This sign can also indicate a sense of guilt.

If a person smiles and the corners of his eyes are narrowed, then this is real joy and happiness. Do not mistake such an emotion for a forced smile of politeness. When the corners of the lips are lowered down, it is sadness and pessimism.

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Arms

The position of the hands when speaking can tell a lot about a person. Usually a person gestures, tries to back up his words.

While persuading, the interlocutor holds his hands, palm up? This means that he is attuned to other participants in the conversation, trying to explain something without any malicious intent.

If the hands are at the seams, that is, they are closely adjacent to the body, they express lack of will and passivity.

Are the man's hands behind his back? This speaks of doubt, distrust, unwillingness to make decisions or cunning intent, a desire to strike.

If your hands are in your pockets, this also indicates that the person is trying to hide something, is unsure of himself.

Hands folded in a "house" speak of self-confidence and self-confidence, readiness to act.

A fist is a sign of self-affirmation and concentration. It can also indicate aggression.

Rubbing hands is a symbol of satisfaction, a job done.

Important: Learning body language and sign language is nothing more than mindfulness.

Open and closed human postures

An open pose speaks of a person's interest, his desire to cooperate. Hands in this position of the body are not at the neck or abdomen, the gaze is directed at the interlocutor and the body is turned towards him. However, it is instinctively difficult for a person to always remain open. Since ancient times, he has been preparing for a possible attack, so he defends himself. Closed pose is one of the options for protection. What positions of the trunk can be called closed?

1. Crossed legs.
2. Folded arms across the chest.

A closed posture does not set you up for communication, so you need to pick up some object in order to open up to the world around you. This is especially true for people preparing to present a speech or monologue. I don't want to listen to people who are squeezed.

How to recognize body language?

Body language can reveal a person's basic needs and emotions:

• ... Several years ago, a series was especially popular, where they taught to recognize lies with the help of gestures. A liar can be recognized by the following signs:
  • unconscious touching of lips, nose, chin when talking;
  • scratching the eyelids;
  • direct look. When a person recalls some actions that took place in the past, he looks away unconsciously. The deceiver has thought out his answers in advance, so he does not need to remember something or come up with random ideas.
• Flirting. Women - they constantly try to show their interest with gestures. That is why they say that it is impossible to hide sympathy or love for a person of the opposite sex:
  • a girl shows her wrist - a sign of seduction;
  • adjusting the hairstyle, winding a strand on a finger or effectively throwing hair back - this is how a woman seeks to impress a man she likes;
  • slightly open mouth or licking lips. Open lip-licking should not be confused with the purpose of flirting from the same gesture, which means nervousness and excitement;
  • flirtatious "accidental" loss of a shoe and wiggle a bare leg;
  • "Shooting" with the eyes. The look from the adored object is taken away sharply, and a romantic smile appears on the face;
  • stroking your thighs.
    An aggressive male gesture hinting at closeness is a sign when the thumbs are in the pockets, and the rest protrude outward. This pose is called cowboy. Shaking off dust particles of oneself, piercing wide gaze, and straightening a tie and cuffs are also considered male sexual positions.
• Aggression. It is possible to recognize a hostile attitude towards oneself not only by the look, but also by the position of the person's body:
  • hands in fists - a dangerous gesture, it is better to end the conversation, otherwise the conversation will go beyond ordinary words, and move on to more active actions;
  • hands to the side is associated with an angry woman. It is difficult to call this ardent aggression, it is a readiness to act.
• Nervousness. When a person is nervous, he cannot sit still, children and adolescents begin to bite their nails, and adults are taken not by nails, but by pencils and pens. Anxious people also have frequent breathing, they may not have enough air, they lick their lips. The state of quiet restlessness is betrayed by the tapping of the fingers on the table.

Examples of

How to apply body language psychology to everyday life? Learning these patterns can seem daunting. Let's consider an example of a real situation.

Wedding scene. The bride looks at the registry office workers, and the groom directed his gaze to his beloved. The groom does not smile until the future wife sees him. As soon as the bride looked at him, the groom’s face immediately broke into a smile. This happened after she started to turn towards him? What does this situation mean? The corners of the man's lips are directed downward, his eyes often clap. Knowledge of sign language tells us that the young man is tense, but is trying to play the cheerful and carefree groom. He is playing with his hands, that is, trying to build a barrier. It can be assumed that he is only acting out love for his future wife.

Correct, their organic application allows women of the opposite sex to achieve more success. Girls who openly look at the interlocutor, listen to him attentively, even without possessing natural beauty, make an indelible impression.

Finally

Body language isn't just for leaders who, by the nature of their work, must convince and coerce others into action. Each person needs to learn how to correctly interpret the gestures of the interlocutors. You should also control yourself, not put your hands in your pockets, not try to give out what should be hidden. Speaking without words provides more than verbal information. Not knowing this international language can lead to problems, misunderstandings and quarrels.

Important: Not all gestures are universal. Certain signs used in one country can be a deadly insult in another.

To avoid trouble, you should learn the sign language of your culture, as well as those countries where you have plans to travel.