Review: "good manners and business etiquette", elena ber

The rules of etiquette in society are the ability to behave in all situations in which a person can only find himself. IN modern world it is extremely important to know them, to have good manners in order to be pleased with yourself and others, to treat all people with respect, friendly, benevolent, natural. So that any, even the best elite society, would willingly accept you into its ranks.

Interpretation of the term

Etiquette in modern society is a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations.

There are several basic types of such rules.

1. The ability to present yourself - the rules for forming a wardrobe, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, posture, gestures.
2. Speech etiquette - the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, gratitude, give remarks; goodbye rules, politeness,
3. Table etiquette - manners at the table, serving norms, the ability to eat.
4. Rules of etiquette in society - how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, store, office, etc.
5. Business etiquette - relationships with coworkers, bosses, good business manners, leadership skills, etc.

Ability to present yourself

Good manners, rules of etiquette, the ability to be an amiable person - all this requires not only skills, but also knowledge in these areas. A modern person should know how to behave in any circumstances, be able to behave accordingly, be amiable, friendly and confident.

Clothing etiquette

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and in addition, the mind manifests itself in the choice of clothing for the occasion. It is not enough to be fashionable or expensive to make a good impression. If you want to please others, you must reckon with them and take into account different circumstances. Therefore, even in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to observe the rules of etiquette in society. It is important that the clothes are beautiful and fit for you, but it is much more important that all the details appearance organically combined with each other, and he himself corresponded to the time, place and setting. It is not customary to wear evening dresses during the day, and to wear leisure clothes at work. Each time, choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate occasion, time, place, do not forget about your own age, features of the figure. Anything you wear should always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. The weekend outfit should always be in full readiness. When shaping your wardrobe, remember that it should include must-have items such as suits, tailored trousers and skirts, blouses and evening wear, and home outfits.

Personal care

Good manners require cleanliness, proper nutrition and healthy image life. It is unacceptable to appear in a society unkempt. At the same time, it is important to monitor the appearance in the complex, carefully removing the hair, going out into the "light". These are the mandatory rules of etiquette and behavior for a girl, as well as for a man.

Good social behavior

The ability to present oneself begins with a gait, posture, gestures, postures, and the manner of sitting and sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require a beautiful gait with a straight posture, when the arms move slightly in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, the stomach is tucked up. You can't lift your head high, but you shouldn't walk with your head down either. Poses and gestures are equally important. To make a good impression, you need to be simple and natural. It is considered bad form to twirl something in your hands, wind your hair on your finger, drum your fingers on the table, stomp to the beat of the music, touch any part of the body with your hands, and pull on another's clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is important to know only two rules here: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, with your legs and arms outstretched.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas in which a large amount of information, both semantic and emotional, is encrypted. You need to know them by heart, be able to choose the most suitable for the occasion and pronounce them in the appropriate tone in time. Virtuoso, correct command of these words is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greetings

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling in the words. For example, you might be less than gentle when you say “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it is completely unacceptable to say hello to the boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or by name and patronymic. Men should accompany each other with a handshake. When meeting a lady, the gallant gentleman kisses her hand, while he should not pull her towards him, but must bend as far as the woman gave her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation

Which of the appeals is preferable, you have to decide in each specific case, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by name or by name and patronymic, the latter is considered a manifestation of greater respect. In a formal setting, when introducing anyone, state your first and last name. And address by patronymic, for example Ivanovna, is permissible only in the village, but not in a secular society.

3. Requests

The word "please" is really magical, it must sound in all requests. Since the request somehow burdens the person to whom you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: "If it is not difficult for you", "Will it not bother you?" It is also appropriate to say: "Do me a favor, be kind, you could not," etc.

4. Farewell

Before you say goodbye, you should prepare the interlocutor for parting: "It's too late", "Unfortunately, I have to go." Then it is customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, for example, "I'm glad we met." The next part of the farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can say a compliment to the mistress of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without stopping.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society imply the ability to invite, apologize, comfort, express condolences, and gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural, sincere, excluding harsh and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

Eating beautifully is just as important as moving and speaking well, but it is here that you need to especially observe the measure.

• There is no need to try to specially embellish the process of eating, for example, to eat in very small pieces, to set aside bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth while chewing, not to talk with your mouth full, to chew the food thoroughly before putting the next portion in your mouth.
• Never drink until you have swallowed food, unless you suddenly have hot food in your mouth. If you see food is hot, do not blow on it before you start eating.
• Try to eat and drink absolutely quietly.
• In society, bread is eaten without biting off a whole piece, but breaking off pieces from it.
• Salt from an open salt shaker, if there is no special spoon in it, should be taken with the end of a clean knife, after sprinkling it on the edge of your plate.
• Ketchup or mustard is offered as a condiment only in the most relaxed atmosphere.
• When eating, try to stain your plate as little as possible, do not stir or smear food on it.
• Never, even at home, eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right. If you eat salad, you can take the fork with your right hand.
• If you want to drink or take a break from eating, then you need to leave the fork and knife in a criss-cross or "house" position.
• A spoon is always taken with the right hand, if you eat from a soup bowl, a spoon after eating is left there without putting it on the table.
• At the end of a meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Etiquette: rules of conduct in society and public places

In public places, there are some specific rules of good manners, which are extremely important to observe.

1. In a museum, at an exhibition, at a vernissage

The rules of conduct in these "temples" of art all over the world are the same and extremely simple: walk quietly through the halls, talk in a muffled tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not get too close to paintings and exhibits so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theater, philharmonic, concert hall

Modern rules of good manners are somewhat contradictory. Earlier in such public places the ladies should have been invited by a man, today it is considered quite decent if the girl herself invites him to a play, a concert. And even if it is she who pays for the tickets for two. A well-mannered man must play the role of a gallant gentleman, caring for a lady everywhere. It is important to arrive on time, undress calmly, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything while watching.

3. In court, church, clinic, library

The rules of etiquette and good manners in society urge you to behave in these places as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. You cannot talk, rustle, chew and walk without special need. Inquiries and questions should be answered politely and in an undertone.

In any institution it is important to maintain good manners, to be courteous, tactful and polite. The main thing is that your stay should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

Business Etiquette

Good manners at work are a must for every employee. What points does it touch business Etiquette? Easy rules will help you understand this issue.

• Observance of subordination with colleagues and superiors.
• Timely arrival to work and quick performance of their duties.
• Friendly communication with both colleagues and visitors.
• Confidentiality at work.
• Appropriateness of clothing for the institution where you work.
• Lack of personal topics in discussions.
• Keeping order in your workplace.
• by phone.

Rules in society help to achieve the goals set in business. Thanks to good manners, you can move up the career ladder and be a successful self-realized person in everything.

To be a pleasant person in any situation, to want to do business with you, you need to perfectly know the laws of behavior in society. They will help not only achieve any goals, but also become a self-confident and happy person.

About the book

If you understand the language of etiquette, recognize non-verbal signals addressed to you and know how to respond to them, then you are in the game. Good manners when entering an elevator can take you to the top of your career. And knowing who is the first to climb the office ladder can be a stepping stone to business success. Someone will argue that this is a trifle. But "perfection is made up of little things, and perfection is not ...

About the book
Etiquette is not boring ceremonies and rituals, it is communication.

We meet a large number of people every day - for morning coffee and in the office, in a restaurant and on the plane, during conferences, seminars and various events, on the stairs and in the elevator.

Knowing good manners will help you make professional and personal relationships more harmonious and meaningful, and effectively build business connections, make useful contacts, establish long-term relationships and get real pleasure from communicating with a variety of people.

If you understand the language of etiquette, recognize non-verbal signals addressed to you and know how to respond to them, then you are in the game. Good manners when entering an elevator can take you to the top of your career. And knowing who is the first to climb the office ladder can be a stepping stone to business success. Someone will argue that this is a trifle. But "trifles make up perfection, and perfection is not a trifle"!

Who is this book for
For those who constantly communicate with people.

For those who understand that knowing the nuances of courteous communication will help you in business and personal life.

For those who want to know the non-verbal language of etiquette and be in the game.

Book features
The author of the book talks about:
non-verbal etiquette and manners of the leader and subordinate
business image of men and women
etiquette of the negotiation process and etiquette of remote communication
speech and netiquette
about national peculiarities of etiquette

about the author
Elena Ber is an image maker, psychologist, art critic. Graduated from Milan Fashion Academy (Italy), Beauty for all seasons school (USA), Bogomolov Image School (Latvia). 15 years of experience in the image services market. In a circle professional activity includes training on image formation, etiquette and good manners, business protocol, consulting organizations and individuals.

What is this book about
Etiquette is not boring ceremonies and rituals, it is communication.
We meet a large number of people every day - for morning coffee and in the office, in a restaurant and on the plane, during conferences, seminars and various events, on the stairs and in the elevator.
Knowing good manners can help you make your professional and personal relationships more harmonious and meaningful, effectively establish business relationships, make useful contacts, establish long-term relationships, and have real pleasure from communicating with a variety of people.
If you understand the language of etiquette, recognize non-verbal signals addressed to you and know how to respond to them, then you are in the game. Good manners when entering an elevator can take you to the top of your career. And knowing who is the first to climb the office ladder can be a stepping stone to business success. Someone will argue that this is a trifle. But "perfection is made of little things, and perfection is not a little thing"!

Who is this book for
For those who constantly communicate with people.
For those who understand that knowing the nuances of courteous communication will help you in business and personal life.
For those who want to know the non-verbal language of etiquette and be in the game.

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publishing house:
"Mann, Ivanov and Ferber", 2014

How to say hello

If you enter the premises, say hello first - always, regardless of whether you are a woman or a man, a top manager or an ordinary employee, an elderly person or a young man. If there are other people in the office of the person you came to, limit yourself to a general bow and greeting. Then, shake hands with whoever invited you. When greeting someone, do not limit yourself to just a formal “Hello”. Call the interlocutor by name.

When you meet, when you are introduced or you introduce yourself, do not rush to shake hands. The one to whom you are introduced must be the first to do so. Remember: according to business etiquette, it is not customary to kiss a lady's hand at an official meeting (according to the rules of secular etiquette, only married women kiss the hand and only indoors). If you are sitting, get up when you greet if possible. When doing this, be guided by common sense... If suddenly you cannot get up (for example, because of tightness and inconvenience), greet other people while sitting, but apologize: "Sorry that I do not get up, it is a little crowded here."

How to shake hands

If you walk up to a group of people and shake hands with one person, you need to shake hands with the rest. It is not customary to shake hands across a threshold, a table, or over the head of a person sitting between you. Do not shake hands with the other person while holding the other in your pocket. One of the pressing questions of business etiquette: is it necessary to shake hands with a woman? The answer is unequivocal: yes. A woman's handshake is no different from a man's. Secular etiquette assumes that a woman is the first to extend her hand to a man. In business etiquette, the leader is the first to give his hand, even if the subordinate is a woman.

A handshake palm up indicates that the person wants to transfer control to the interlocutor. When a person, shaking hands with a partner, covers his palm with his own, he demonstrates his power and dominance. If you are not comfortable with this position, cover his right arm with your left . Business etiquette discourages a handshake with both hands as it is meant to show a closer relationship with people. Moreover, people can perceive such a gesture as an attempt to show condescension or patronize. However, don't forget about cross-cultural differences - for example, Americans love this gesture and find it appropriate in business communications.

How to get acquainted

If there are strangers around you, do not be shy, feel free to introduce yourself, do not wait until you are introduced. When meeting at a business meeting (conference, reception), you should not immediately talk about your achievements and list the regalia. It is enough to simply indicate what you are doing and why you got to a meeting or event.

It is important to be able not only to represent yourself, but also to introduce people to each other. The person to whom you introduce a stranger is mentioned first. The one you represent is the second. When introducing people of equal status, imagine the one with whom you know better, the one with whom you know less. A man is introduced to a woman, the younger in age or by official position - the elder.

When a person is introduced to you, focus on remembering their name — call them by name more often during the conversation. Forgetting the name of the interlocutor, try to soften the situation by correctly asking: “Sorry, I have become a little forgetful lately, could you recall your name? »

What should be a business card

It is preferable that the business card is designed in a strict laconic style. Businessmen who often work with foreign partners should print business cards in the language of the partners - this is especially welcome in Asian countries. If some information about you has changed, you need to order new business cards: under no circumstances correct the data on old business cards, a card with blots and corrections is a sign of bad taste. It is considered good form for a business person to have business cards in two languages \u200b\u200b- Russian and English. Don't make a bilingual business card.

If you didn’t find the person on the spot, but want to show him your respect, fold the upper right corner of the business card you left behind. Transferring your business card with a mark through third parties is a custom common in international business communication.

How to end a meeting

Leaving strangers, you do not have to personally say goodbye to everyone. And if you leave a crowded reception before the rest of the guests, say goodbye only to the hosts of the meeting. Otherwise, your departure may serve as a signal to the party participants that it is time for everyone to go home. If the conversation lasts too long, invite the other person to meet new people, introduce them to each other, apologize and take leave.

Goodbyes should be short - for example, shaking hands as if meeting. End the conversation politely with generic phrases such as "It was nice to see you." If you need to leave the meeting earlier, wait for a pause in the conversation, get up and say goodbye, expressing hope for a new meeting.

Language of the body

Non-verbal communication lies in the plane of both psychology and good manners: for example, when talking to people, you do not need to spread your legs wide, stoop and keep your hands in your pockets. The interpretation of some typical gestures is fairly well established. For example, the "fig leaf" pose (palms closed in such a way that the hands form an inverted "V") indicates shyness and self-doubt. If you make fussy movements, sway from side to side, or touch your face or hair, then you increase your own nervous tension and distract others. Excessive gesticulation during a conversation is not welcome. Gestures should be restrained - the interlocutors may be confused by over-expression.

Show respect for personal space: the distance between you and the person you are talking to should be at least arm's length. Business communication does not involve talking in an undertone or whispering. Do not take a step forward if the interlocutor takes a step back - by doing so, he may be unconsciously trying to make it clear that you are invading his personal space. During the meeting, do not look at the clock - it may seem to others that you are burdened with communication and in a hurry to leave. You shouldn't sit cross-legged, especially in a chair. If it is deep, you can stretch your legs slightly.

How to negotiate

Preparation of negotiations consists of working out a business protocol adopted among diplomats and businessmen, and from a substantive part - issues that should be discussed. You should invite partners to negotiations at least two weeks in advance, so that they can also prepare - this will save time and create conditions for effective communication. As for the composition of the delegation, there should be parity in the negotiations, that is, an equal number of participants from both sides and the correspondence of the positions of representatives with each. Only those employees are invited to the meeting, whose presence is really necessary. The venue of the negotiations is proposed by the inviting party, but the invitee has the right to both accept and reject it. It is not recommended to schedule negotiations for early morning or late evening.

When there are a lot of participants and they are unfamiliar, you can place cards with surnames on the table. The parties are located opposite each other in the order of correspondence of positions. Representatives of the receiving party sit facing the door. There should be a distance of about one and a half meters between the participants. The head of the host party sits down first.

After the greeting, the participants should be introduced to each other. You also need to define their role and powers in the negotiations. The head of the host country is introduced first, then the head of the invited delegation. After that, they introduce their employees: first, to the receiving party, then to the invited party. The exchange of business cards is appropriate if there are no more than seven people on each side of the meeting.

If negotiations are conducted with a foreign delegation, it is necessary to agree in advance on the language of negotiations and ensure technical means for translators. If a recording is being made during the conversation, guests should be informed about this. At the end of the negotiations, the entry is made out and the previously approved plan is attached to it.

It is accepted that guests start the conversation. It is not customary to interrupt the speaker. In rare cases, when you really need to clarify something during the speech, you can apologize and ask a question. In no case should you argue with representatives of your side. If you want to clarify something between yourself, you need to ask for a break and go out to discuss. In negotiations, there is no place for categorical statements, challenges, harsh assessments and demonstrations of superiority. If you notice this behavior from the other side, you should not be defensive - it is better to just remain silent.

The optimal meeting time is two hours. If negotiations drag on, a half-hour coffee break is required. If you have gifts for the meeting participants, they are presented after negotiations.

Alcoholic drinks are not served during negotiations. In rare cases (for example, signing an important contract), champagne may be offered at the very end of the negotiations - but this is more of a symbolic gesture.

Reception of business partners

Guests at the airport must be met by the head of the delegation of the appropriate rank. He usually arrives accompanied by two or three people. The host company manager may not accompany guests during all trips. There is an unspoken rule (not categorical, but desirable) - if a guest arrives with his wife, then the host leader arrives at the first meeting accompanied by his wife. The head of the host country is introduced first. He then introduces the spouse, then the staff (in descending order of rank).

Think in advance how to seat guests in the cars so that everything goes smoothly. The most honorable place is the back seat obliquely from the driver. It is occupied by the head of the guests' delegation. He gets into the car first and gets out first. If the head of the meeting party arrives at the wheel of a personal car, then the place of honor for the guest is next to him. The standard of politeness is that the door will be opened for the boss. This is done by a driver, guard or employee, but by no means a woman.

When escorting guests to the hotel, part with them not on the street, but in the lobby. There you can also arrange a protocol visit.

Mobile etiquette

You need to call your mobile phone for business issues at working time, on weekdays it is considered the time interval from 09:00 to 21:00. Always turn off your phone during negotiations and lunch together. The ringtone should be neutral (classic telephone trill, unobtrusive melody, or just a vibration alert without sound). If you call someone and the answering machine starts up, don't hang up. Introduce yourself and ask to call you back when it is convenient. If your call was not answered, call back no earlier than two hours later - the owner of the phone will see the missed call and will call you back. It is impolite to wait more than six rings - it is better to hang up after the fifth ring. You should not ask the interlocutor about the availability of time if you call during working hours on a specific short question.

The person who started the conversation ends the conversation. If the connection is interrupted, the caller calls back. It is best to answer after the second or third call - if you pick up the phone immediately, the caller may not have time to concentrate. Don't drop the call - it's impolite. You need to answer and ask to call back (or promise to call back) after a specific period of time, say, two hours. You don't have to apologize at the end of the conversation for taking the interlocutor's time; it's better to just thank for the opportunity to talk about your case. Don't give numbers mobile phones without the consent of their owners.

The book was provided by the publishing house "Mann, Ivanov and Ferber".