Do not do good, you will not get evil. Don't do good, you won't get shit. Statuses about good and evil

There is an explanation for this. Yes, and goodness is different. If you want to live in peace, do not do good if you are not asked to do so. If you interfere, wanting to be a benefactor, a deliverer, get ready for the next role, the role of the victim.
There is the so-called Karpman triangle, it is also called the triangle of fate. It looks like this:
persecutor - deliverer - victim.
As soon as a person starts playing this game, he is drawn into this triangle. Getting out of it is more difficult than getting into it. Since in most cases people fall into it unconsciously.

For example, you see how a person dear to you suffers ( victim) from another person ( pursuer). Of course you want to help, become deliverereven if you are not asked. As soon as you intervene, you find yourself in a triangle.
Roles in this triangle can change between its participants. Today you are the deliverer, tomorrow the victim. Throwing on the roles of the Karpmanavian triangle brings to the participants some, perhaps even unconscious pleasure, strong emotions, powerful experiences!
It is incredibly pleasant to feel like a deliverer, to feel your importance, to prove to yourself in an obvious way the value of your existence. The Savior rises above the sacrifice, and this fills the soul with the strongest pleasure.
And what a sense of victory the pursuer is rewarded with! “I didn't give a damn about this fool,” the drunk says to his friends with great pride, and they assent to him, as if he had done something really great.
The victim also does not remain without benefit: self-deprecation, self-flagellation saturate life with very great feelings. And in the future, the transformation into a Persecutor shines, in the role of which it will be possible to "come off in full", or elevation into the role of the Savior.
It's a game, neurotic play, Karpman's triangle is practically not recognized. People simply feel, think, act, seem to themselves quite sincere and do not see their own "second bottom". Chronic saviors, that is, codependents, are especially persistent in defending their right to continue to hang in the triangle. This role is very mesmerizing.
Such a life may not suit the participants in this system, but if they really wanted to change something, they would have to get out of the dramatic triangle. And this is already scary, these are very big changes. Moreover, if we talk about a family in which there is no true intimacy, then jumping on Karpman's roles creates the illusion of emotional saturation, as if replacing the spiritual content of the relationship.
It's about karpman's triangle... And now about good deeds.

A true benefactor does good deeds without even undermining it. And if a person knows and realizes his deed as a good deed, then he must thank the one to whom he renders a blessing for the fact that he accepted it. Because if he had not accepted him, the benefactor would not have been able to feel like a benefactor. Do not expect gratitude when giving a deliberate benefit. The realization that you have done a good deed is the reward. Therefore, be eternally grateful to the one who received this blessing, since without him you could not feel like a benefactor.

In general, do your job. If it is done well, it will be credited to you, but for some it may turn out to be a boon. As stated in one famous cartoon.

We often hear from people disappointed in life: "Do not do good - you will not get evil." Why is this so? What offended those who think so? We will understand in this article whether this aphorism is true.

Good and evil: absolute and relative concepts

It is difficult to deny that "Good" and "Evil" are categories, on the one hand, absolute (if we think about God and the devil), and on the other hand, relative (if we take into account the specific actions of people).

When a person reads fairy tales, he can easily distinguish between good and evil. Aside from the obvious, baddies usually look the same. IN real life everything is more complicated: friends betray, wives leave, parents leave (sometimes they just ignore). In other words, it is not so easy to distinguish good from evil, especially at first, when everything is good.

Imagine, a boy meets a girl, then they get married, they may have children, and he (or she) leaves. A partner left alone says sadly: "Do not do good - you will not get evil." Thus, he perceives the entire past married life as some of his own merit and as a kingdom of perfect good. But we know that husbands and wives don't just run away from anyone, right?

Can't be grateful forever

People have a selective memory: a person remembers well his merits and good deeds, but easily forgets about the evil that he inflicts on others. For example, a wife leaves her husband. He says: "Eh, don't do good - you won't get evil." The husband remembers well that he worked a lot for the good of the family, bought an apartment, a fur coat for his wife, but completely forgot that he did not pay any attention to her during this period, often stayed at work on “non-labor issues” and much more. This is all the tricks of his memory, she decided to hide it all, so as not to injure her psyche and not lower her self-esteem.

The wife, in turn, can remember how she roamed in the kitchen, around the house, and he did not even pay attention to it. Therefore, she can say the phrase "do not do good - you will not get evil" before leaving for another or simply leaving her husband.

The case described here can include any couple: parents and children, friends.

Parents and children

Imagine authoritarian parents. They decide what to drink, what to eat, what to wear, where to go to study, who to be friends with, and then suddenly, when the time begins student life, their blessed child, breaking off the leash, arranges for the parents the end of the world. Parents can only say puzzledly: "Do not do good to people - you will not get evil" - and cry bitterly. And the most interesting thing is that their tears will be completely sincere.

They did not understand that throughout their lives they were simply crippling the soul of their child, all the time telling him how to live, who to be friends with and what to wear, and now, when the child has gained courage and strength from the "symmetrical answer", his reaction seems to ancestors of cosmic injustice and the same amazing phenomenon as +40 in winter in Murmansk. But it turns out that everything has a reason.

Aleshkina love: an extraordinary interpretation of the song

All (or many) know the song: "They say that it is ugly to beat the girls from their friends ...". And all the suffering of the singing from the fact that he does not want to lose either his friend or his beloved. He is afraid that Alyoshka will say: "If you do not want to get evil, do not do good."

The hero's fears are justified, but here you have to make a choice: either love or friendship. This is a very difficult and disgusting, disgusting dilemma, but life is sometimes a very nasty thing.

Seryozhka (let the singing be called that) with Alyoshka, perhaps, passed through fire and water, and copper pipes... One more than once pulled the other out of various troubles, but then Lyubov (or simply Lyuba) came, and that's all - you need to make a fateful choice. A friend, if he is real, will understand and forgive. He just needs time.

Linguistic twist

We have considered various situations where the proverb “do no good - you will not get evil” is used. Now it's time to specify its meaning specifically. As it is easy to understand from examples, this proverb is present in the vocabulary of those people who consider themselves righteous and benefactors. They believe that they saturate the world exclusively with good, and either evil or nothing returns to them.

In a sense, such people are the type of modern Job who kneels with hands and eyes facing the sky and asks: “Why me, Lord? But why?" But in the course of our not too extensive research, we realized that this is only posture and bad memory. There are no righteous people. There are no absolutely kind people, there are people with bad memories and callous hearts when it comes to other people's suffering and problems.

M. M. Zhvanetsky and folk wisdom

Michal Mikhalych has a wonderful phrase: "The slave says:" They are to blame for the fact that I ... ". A free man says: "I am to blame for the fact that I ..." ". Do you feel the difference? When we want to calm our conscience and convince ourselves and others of our own sinlessness, the saying “do not do good - you will not get evil” comes to mind. If we suddenly became conscious and overly advanced Homo sapiens, then we use another aphorism that is more appropriate in this situation for spiritual support. Perhaps something from the legacy of existential philosophical thought, if not satisfied with the work of Michal Mikhalych.

Why can't you think the way the saying goes?

When we discard the responsibility for what is happening to us, then, on the one hand, we put on the costume of the victim, and on the other hand, we recognize that we are only puppets in the hands of fate. Perhaps the last statement is true, but a person should not think so. Such a way of thinking irreparably harms the construction of a harmonious life, which even on earth, contrary to the opinion of bile critics, is quite possible.

Man can arrange everything in the best manner only if he is ready to answer for his every action, regardless of whether it is true or false. This is the only way to come to the light. And one should not be afraid of pain, because only through suffering is truth revealed. If truths are important, they are, like pricks, very painful. Medicines are also nasty and disgusting, but they help a person live and breathe, and life is a great gift. At least some people think so. If a person is not too sure that life is so wonderful, then medications allow him to at least watch a certain number of films and read a certain number of books, and, of course, work for the benefit of society.

You might think that we have deviated a little from the topic, but we are not. All this is included in the orbit of the theme "Do not do good - you will not get evil: the meaning of a saying." Folk aphorisms are as follows: they awaken many associations, thoughts and feelings, which must certainly be touched. All this must be discussed in a necessary way so that there is no understatement.

And finally. It is better to replace the saying "do not do good - you will not get evil" to be replaced by something like: "if they did wrong with me, then it was I and only I who made a mistake." It is important to say here that this behavior has nothing to do with the Christian thought of two bruised cheeks. If you were treated meanly, then you must draw certain conclusions about the person who treated you badly, and correct your own shortcomings and shortcomings, so that this does not happen again, forever and ever. Amen.

In fact, the catch phrase sounds a little different - "Do not do good, you will not get evil" or "Good is paid with evil." There are still other options that are essentially similar: "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions", "Do not bother a person to be unhappy, otherwise he will prevent you from being happy. "

PARABLE # 1

One day a snake was crawling through the forest. Suddenly a tree fell right on her. The snake twisted and twisted, twisted and twisted, but no matter how hard it tried, everything was useless.
Meanwhile, a woodcutter who lived nearby decided to chop wood. He took his ax and went into the forest, where he saw a snake crushed by a tree. The snake says to him:
- Kind man, please free me! Roll back that tree that pinned me to the ground!
The man answers her:
- No, I will not do it, because then you will eat me!
Snake again:
- Trust me, I will not eat you!
And the man is his:
- I do not trust you.
But the snake begged him for so long that the man took pity on her and rolled the tree away. The snake crawled out and, since it had not eaten anything all day and was very hungry, said to the man:
- Good man, I am dying of hunger and therefore I will eat you now!
- What? Do you wanna eat me even though I set you free?
- Yes. Don't you know that good is paid for with evil?
- That's how it is! the man said angrily.
And the snake again:
- Do you think I'm wrong?
- Of course not right!
“Well, okay,” said the snake. - Then call some animals here, and we will ask them. You will see what they have to say.
The man went to look for animals and brought a deer, a horse, a puma and a wolf. The snake began to ask them one by one:
- Tell me, puma, is it true that good is paid with evil?
“Yes,” said the puma.
- And you, horse, don't you think that good is paid with evil?
“Yes,” the horse replied.
- Brother deer, do they pay for good with evil?
“Yes,” the deer replied.
When a person heard what all these animals said, he was really scared. Only the wolf remained, and the snake turned to him:
- Brother wolf, do they pay for good with evil?
And the wolf answers:
“I don’t know how it all happened and if you’re telling the truth. So I can't say if you should eat this person. Lie down where you were, and then we'll see.
All animals agreed with the wolf. The snake lay down, and the man rolled a tree over it. And the wolf said:
- Now, snake, stay there!
The man thanked the wolf and says:
- Now, brother wolf, come home with me, I will repay you, give you a couple of chickens.
- No, I won't go to you. Bring me the chickens here tomorrow in the forest.
The man returned home, told everything to his wife, said that he had promised the wolf chickens. But his wife was very angry and told him to put dogs in the bag instead of chickens, which bite on the ears.
And since the man did not want to argue with his wife, he did as she said. The next day he put the dogs in the sack and went to the forest.
The wolf was already waiting for him.
- Brother wolf, I brought you chickens!
- Thanks! - answered the wolf.
Then the man untied the sack, and the dogs jumped out - those that bite on the ears. The dogs grabbed the wolf and chewed off both ears. Finally, the wolf managed to escape. And he ran into the thicket of the forest, grumbling:
- The snake was right: good is paid for with evil.

PARABLE # 2

The snake, after which the hunters were chasing, begged the peasant to save her life. To hide her from the chase, the peasant squatted down and let the snake crawl into his stomach. But when the danger was over and he asked the snake to come out, she refused. It was warm and safe inside.
On the way home, the peasant saw a heron. He walked over to her and whispered what had happened. The heron told him to sit down and push to vomit the snake. When the head of the snake appeared, the heron pecked it, pulled the snake out and killed it. The peasant was afraid that the snake's venom might remain in his entrails. The heron told him that it is possible to recover from the poison of a snake if you boil and eat six white birds. "You are a white bird," the peasant exclaimed, "and let's start with you!"
And he grabbed the heron, put it in a sack and carried it home, and there, pulling it out, told his wife what had happened to him.
“You surprise me,” said my wife, “the bird did you good, delivered you from evil, did good, saved your life, and you want to kill and eat it?”
She immediately freed the heron, and it flew away. But first she pecked out the woman's eyes.

Moral: if you see water flowing up the hill, it means that someone has repaid with good for good.

So what am I talking about?

More and more, I notice that people are ungrateful creatures. I do something good for them, and in return I only get a tub of shit on my head. No, I'm not asking you to sing me praises or be grateful to the grave. I want the banal - so that they cram their evil and ignorance deeper into the anus.

I will not list all examples. I'll take the one that happened today.

Let me remind you that last Saturday during the game ENCOUNTER my team witnessed betrayal - an unknown person on the "dvenashke" left a shepherd dog on the roadway and disappeared.

I provided this information to Svetlana Uvarkina, who is engaged in our animal shelter "Friend". She posted it in the VKontakte group. Everyone began to worry about the dog, at the same time they calculated the owner of the car by numbers, someone even went out on a raid to the specified place in search of the dog. And then a 20-year-old miracle Yudo appears in the comments, which declares that the figleys here run into a person who threw a shepherd dog, if such-and-such themselves drove by! To be honest, I don't understand:

1. Why are we put on a par with the one who threw out HIS dog?
2. What were we supposed to do when we saw all this?

There were five of us in the car. Placing an unfamiliar animal, especially an adult shepherd, in a crowded vehicle, is fraught with bites. The dog shelter works exclusively in the morning, so there was no point in calling anywhere at half past one at night! Even if I called on personal phone S. Uvarkina, would a person pick up the phone in the middle of the night? For example, I always turn off the call or even the phone when I go to bed. So to cuckle with the dog on the side of the road until the morning, guarding it so that it doesn't go anywhere? Or take an hour to lure her home on foot? Only I have a cat living there, which does not even tolerate other people's cats, but imagine what will be in the one-room apartment when an unfamiliar big dog appears there!

Let's consider another variant of events - to catch up with the goat on the "puzoterka" and give him pizdyuly. That's basically what we planned, the video even contains the phrase "Get the bat". I followed the 12th from the above intersection to the intersection of Kolkhoznaya and Yuzhnaya streets. But he was driving as if he was trying to escape from his own conscience. I have an all-season car on the ice, which glides on ice in about the same way as bald rubber. Accelerate up to 120 kilometers per hour (within the city, where the permitted speed is two times less - that is, at best, a fine from 1 to 5 thousand rubles, at worst - deprivation of a driver's license from six months) in order to overtake and cut it - it is pure suicide and murder. Let me remind you that there were five of us in the car. As cruel as it sounds, is a dog's life worth such sacrifices?

Or let's combine all of the above and bring it to the point of absurdity: we stop, push the biting big dog into the car on top of the people, turn on the "rocket" speed, catch up with the "dvenashka", make us open the windows on the move, throw the dog into the fret's salon. Mission Complete! The people rejoice and the ladies throw their caps into the sky.

I knew that I had an acquaintance who could figure out the owner of the car by numbers (we wrote down the license plate). Syktyvkar is a small city and it will be easier to find a geek later. In an age of high technology and dominance social networks, this can be done without even leaving home (

An acquaintance calls, the PC needs to see what is junk. Came, checked, twisted, everything worked OK. Left. Call. "Alla?" "Well, you and m * duck, thank you ..." then a choice mate, an opinion about what a bad person I am and the question, why did YOU break my PC !? Everything is blinking, I press the buttons and the monitor does not light up! YOU broke! O_o clarify what and where it flashes. It turns out that after I left, he left the PC and it "fell asleep". I began to press the buttons on the keyboard, it does not turn on. And to press Power on the system unit is not destiny. He told me where to press and vowed to help him more.
Second. At work we can take a maximum of 1.5 bets. If Sasha wants 2 bets, then he writes on 0.5, now he already has 1.5 bets and asks Vanya to write on 0.5. Vanya receives the money and gives it to Sasha. For "worrying" Sasha makes a symbolic kickback to Vanya from every payday :) And he pulled me to contact one type - he says, write another statement for 0.5 rate, and I'll work. It's not difficult for me. I receive a salary, I give his share to him. Received 3200, paid 3000, owed 200. The next time I received 3300, gave 3500, maybe 200 should have. So they worked until the contract expired. And in the end, when this guy left, he told everyone that I took 300-400 rubles from each of HIS salaries. O_o it was a good lesson for me on how to sign up for financial affairs. No more.
Third story. Then he studied at the university. Granny walks, dragging bags. Can I help you? Oh, if not difficult. We walked about 300 meters, reached, I put my bags on the porch at the entrance to the entrance, my grandmother climbed to get the chip from the intercom, and I perked up home. Here granny:
- Shame on you! Return my wallet!
At first I didn't understand who she was saying this to. And she looks again and says:
- Give back the wallet! He was in the bag, and now he's gone! YOU carried the bag and pulled out! O_o I'll call the police!
There was no need to call, because the department was located in the next entrance. Well, let's go to the place where the granny immediately told the duty officer that I had robbed her. And the officer on duty poked, - so if he robbed, why did he come with you. He said to wait for the precinct. The district police officer listened to our versions, I showed that there was a phone in my pocket and 500 rubles. Granny immediately squealed:
- my, my money! Robbed!
The policeman sighed and suggested that the wallet might have fallen out when the bags were being dragged. Granny stood her ground:
- I robbed! This is my money!
Investigator:
- So you have a wallet, or the money is gone?
Granny repeated like a mantra:
- This is my money, give it back
The district policeman sighed, specified where the last time granny saw the purse and told us to follow him. Going out into the street, I saw that the same grandmother was spinning near the grandmother's entrance, seeing the victim, she began to cry:
- Alesandravna! On! You forgot in my store! And gives her a wallet ...
Precinct:
- Everything? Missing found?
Granny:
- Yes, the wallet, but those 500 rubles that he has in his pocket are mine!
The district police officer turned around and went to the police station, passing me, quietly muttered
- started hissing ...
Then they told me that the grannies from this house just lived in this department, visiting it 3-4 times a day - they steal the newspapers, then a stranger's cat climbed in, then Pyatrovna was kidnapped - she does not answer calls, etc., etc. Many years later, after reading all sorts of stories, I think that in the third story I was still very lucky ...

A similar saying was generated by humanity in the process of civilization development. It would seem that this is how our wild ancestors from the Stone Age should have reasoned. However, in that era, no one would have thought of such a solution to relations in society. The living conditions of primitive man were so difficult that without disinterested mutual assistance, this species would simply have died out even in the vastness of warm and rich Africa. Each representative of the human race was perceived as a companion, assistant and best friend... Even not the most pleasant tribesman should help and do good in the name of the tribe's survival. Very rare cases of intentional harm to one person to another were punishable by expulsion from a friendly collective.

As soon as the person left the jungle, the "law of the jungle" began to work, including "do no good - you will not get evil." Yes, unfortunately, it was the complication of social relations and the improvement of the productive forces that gave rise to this contradictory phraseological unit. People began to survive not by tribes, but by individual families leading an individual economy. The one who could distribute supplies to the neighbors did exactly the same as the savage throwing food into the river - doomed fellow tribesmen to die of hunger.

Those representatives of the human race who were able to accumulate reserves, did not share with strangers, were able not only to survive, but also to strengthen their place in society. Now, in order to win the sympathy of the wider popular masses, they needed new style behavior. So charity was born. But representatives of the lower classes continued to live in conditions similar to those described above... They would have to take a step back: to unite the farms and survive collectively ... Envy of their more successful relatives and the hope of getting into the upper circles of society did not allow them to do this.

The meaning of the saying

It was the poor, who eked out a miserable existence within the framework of individual households, who brought this phraseological unit to our days. If their representatives achieved the desired goal, then after eating a little, they began to talk about humanism and the need to live according to conscience. If, on the contrary, they were deprived of the latter and ended up on the street, tormented by constant hunger, they began to demand justice. IN modern worldby the way, nothing in socially hasn't changed so for certain groups, this statement has a direct meaningabove.

Those who cannot be ranked in this category also sometimes use this phraseological unit in the following cases:

• when the service was rendered to a knowingly bad person and subsequently caused significant damage to the benefactor. It can be both material problems and the loss of a good name after the news of who our good-doing character communicates with.
• when a business in which a person with good intentions is going to participate has a negative purpose. There is such an expression "Good deeds spreads the road to hell" - hoping to be useful, a person harms others and himself.
• when they want to justify their indifference and greed by cowardice. In order not to do anything, not to help anyone and not to take part in public life, a person confesses that he is afraid to face troubles that will follow his action.

An analogue of this phraseological unit is "They do not seek good from good." True, there is more a hint of the passion of some citizens to search for an easy life by deceiving their fellow tribesmen.