Powerful ways to increase self-confidence. how to increase self confidence how to increase self confidence

Sooner or later, every person worries, especially if such moments and situations happen too often in his life that literally knock the ground out from under his feet due to a sudden change in environment or conditions. If you notice such episodes of loss of confidence in yourself and your abilities, then such problems need to be addressed.

To achieve some results, first of all, it is worth stopping to look at yourself too closely, placing too much emphasis on failures and shortcomings. Learn to emphasize your dignity and accept the fact that there are no perfect people in the world in everything. Besides, no one is immune from mistakes! Of course, if possible, you need to get rid of your weaknesses and try to make others and, first of all, you yourself appreciate all your advantages and skills. Also, when evaluating your failures, try not to reproach yourself, but to find the reasons that led to mistakes in order to prevent them in the future. Thus, a “bad experience” can be as good as any other, helping to become better and gain self-confidence.

Also, for often it is necessary to reconsider some character traits. These may include, for example, suspiciousness, shyness, shyness. There is nothing good in a suppressed sense of confidence, as it creates a fairly serious obstacle to personal success in many areas of life.

You need to stop comparing yourself to someone who is better than you at certain things. In the end, everyone is good at something and not so good at something. Try to focus on your own implementation, apply your talents, skills and positive aspects where it is required. Taking advantage of your own strengths boosts self-esteem. Also develop the habit of not reproaching yourself, but praising each victory, even if it is not so significant and is just a small step towards success. Do not let others lower your self-esteem and do not do it yourself, choose self-flagellation every time you experience some kind of failure.

Of course, plans also help in gaining self-confidence. Even if they are too bulky and complex, they can be divided into many small ones, making each of them a kind of small victory. Do not be afraid to try to achieve the impossible, to achieve success.

Try to be a reliable friend, partner, colleague - this will allow you to realize yourself in all areas of your life, which will positively affect your self-esteem and make achieving what you want much easier. At the same time, you should not try to achieve any specific ideals, frameworks. It is best to focus on your own life, your ideals and styles.
If you are thinking about how you can increase your self-confidence, then tune in to positive thinking and optimism. Such people, who are prone to constant positive attitudes, know how to enjoy every moment of their lives and have certain ambitions. They have a habit not to waste time on empty doubts, but to constantly act and realize themselves where you feel “their place”. They are literally pursued by happiness, because constant subconscious positive attitudes tend to facilitate their achievement and they tend to "materialize" in the real world.

How to boost a woman's self-confidence

In order to work on self-improvement, a woman needs, first of all, to recognize and accept the problems of self-esteem. Regarding female psychology, low self-esteem is often the result of negative self-image. The fair sex is much more likely to underestimate themselves, their capabilities and real potential. But at the same time, psychologists have long confirmed that the events in our lives are actually directly related to our own beliefs and thoughts.
From this we can draw a simple conclusion: in order to improve your life, you need to change your attitude towards yourself and learn to think positively. In this regard, psychologists give several tips that are basic on the question of how to increase a woman's self-confidence:

1. Adopt a daily belief: “I am who I really am, and I like myself that way!”.
2. Use constant positive affirmations and attitudes: “I can!”, “I can do it!”, “I can!”.
3. Unlearn to always make excuses for your actions.
4. Gain confidence in the fidelity of your act, choice. Even if someone from the outside speaks negatively about them. Respect your choice.
5. Stop comparing yourself to other women. Everyone has talent in their field and a lack of it in another.
6. Put your wardrobe in order, try to follow the style, add new colors to it.
7. Accept yourself along with all the shortcomings and work on them, and do not beat yourself up for them. Always ignore and dismiss negative thoughts from your mind.

How to boost a girl's confidence

Considering the question of how to increase a girl's self-confidence, it is worth emphasizing the importance of personal effort and perseverance. A young girl needs to set a certain bar for herself regarding what worries her, and never lower herself. For example, set a goal to always follow the manicure and hair. There can be a lot of such “bars”, but such “development” of habits will allow you to always feel confident. At the same time, it is worth abandoning all bad habits, which also include smoking, overeating, and prolonged “hanging out” on social networks.
Try to develop comprehensively, follow your interests, get new information and education, watch your posture and appearance, go in for sports. Always tune in to a favorable outcome of any undertaking, and in case of defeat, remember that no one is ever immune from possible mistakes. Even from a negative experience, benefit by analyzing what happened.

How to boost a man's confidence

Usually, the term “confidence” means some internal potential, a focus on achieving success, the belief that internal forces will always be enough to overcome life's problems. If a man often asks questions like: “Can I achieve this?”, “Am I worthy of what I want?” and others like them, then he definitely needs a boost in confidence and self-esteem.
If a man, on the contrary, is confident enough in himself and has adequate self-esteem, then he is actively acting. Always strive for the goal, is not afraid to turn to others with requests or demands, makes every effort and skill to achieve his own. At the same time, he is not afraid of possible failures, of becoming misunderstood or rejected. Usually low confidence lasts since childhood, as it is based on negative life experiences and inadequate upbringing in the family.

How to increase a man's self-confidence?

You can achieve this quickly enough if you stop your constant internal critic and accept the fact that you are able to build yourself instead of reproach and humiliate. Each man is his internal personal trainer, which adds motivation, internal reserves and strength. To build confidence in yourself. you should finally renounce all negative and derogatory thoughts, attitudes, beliefs.

The modern world is very hectic and full of troubles. In the whirlpool of everyday life and various events, we often forget about our inner thoughts and that they also require a certain order. Learn to think only positively, discard the beliefs that suppress you, and you will notice how your life will change only for the better.

In order to regain confidence as quickly as possible, in case you are unsettled, try a very simple exercise recommended by psychologists. Just close your eyes for a while and remember the things you do best. It can be anything from singing or drawing to even simple housework. If you don’t have time to close your eyes and concentrate, then you can just mentally imagine your favorite activity.

It is impossible to develop courage and confidence overnight. If a person asks: how to gain self confidence- it is impossible to give a definite answer.

First you need to understand the root of the problem and only then start working on yourself. There are several effective methods that should be carefully studied. Where to get self-confidence?

How to raise a woman's self-esteem? Learn about it from ours.

What it is?

it complex concept, including various spectrums of behavioral, intellectual and emotional components.

Confidence in psychology is considered the ability to deal with fears and doubts.

The ability to interact with society, without fear to express one's point of view, beliefs, not to be afraid of criticism.

Specialists also understand certainty as the ability of a person to take responsibility for their behavior and actions. This is a property of the personality, its core is a positive assessment of one's own abilities.

What is a self-confident person like?

Confident people always know what they want to achieve set high goals and achieve them. They are open, self-sufficient, successful. Feel comfortable in society.

They do not try to please someone, they do not care what others think of themselves. Such people are guided by internal guidelines. They don't need outside approval to start something new.

According to psychologists, self-confident people make important decisions easier. They do not weigh themselves down and boldly go forward. The world is being explored. Such people strive to develop and improve. They find plenty of room for growth and are not afraid of change.

Gestures of a confident person:

What are the reasons for the uncertainty?

Uncertainty does not arise suddenly. She is formed over the years. The following factors contribute to its appearance:

1. Children's settings. In the distant past, man often faced failure. As a child, he lost in games, endured bullying peers. Parents could talk about their child's lack of talent. These attitudes led to the formation of fears, unrest,.
2. The importance of the opinions of others. Some people put too high the opinion of society, believing that their own formulations are always wrong. There is a comparison with more intelligent, talented people. It may seem to an individual that he will never reach such heights.
3. Unsuccessful experience. If at the very beginning of a career the work was not evaluated in the best way, only mistakes were pointed out to a person, he will consider himself not smart enough, he will see only shortcomings. Work in the future they will be evaluated less qualitatively. He will stop believing in himself.
4. A family. The imposed opinion of close people. If parents, spouse, children point only to the shortcomings of a person, he begins to withdraw into himself, ceases to see positive aspects in himself. He undoubtedly trusts close people, therefore he refuses to believe in their wrongness to the end.
5. Lack of meaning in life. Some people have not studied themselves, they don’t fully know what they like and what they don’t. Their meaning of life is not formed. For this reason, the individual cannot openly express his positions and views. He is tormented by doubts. He didn't know what was really important to him.

Low self-esteem can be born even from minor situations to which a person at first did not attach any importance. Repeated failure only reinforces negative attitudes, which are then difficult to get rid of.

Where do complexes come from?

Complexes do not appear from scratch. They are formed from childhood.

In most cases, parents and grandparents are to blame. Without noticing it, they lay complexes in children's heads.

For example, a child asked to buy a toy, but it turned out to be expensive. Mom could answer: "She's not for you, too expensive."

Constantly facing rejection, hearing the phrases “not for you”, “you didn’t deserve it”, “this won’t suit you” lead to the emergence of negative attitudes.

A person begins to perceive himself only from the bad side. When the child grows up, he will think: "This car is for me", "work is not for me." He will feel worse than he really is.

In addition to native people, interaction with society leads to complexes. If one day someone did not like the hairstyle, or physical data, the person was told this directly and in a rude manner, a negative perception of oneself will appear.

In the future, a person will look for confirmation that he has one or another defect. It will seem to him that he is not as handsome as the others, or not as smart.

Evaluation of others especially when a person depends on someone else's opinion, it affects self-esteem in the worst way. A person withdraws into himself, ceases to notice dignity in himself.

The main causes of complexes are mockery from others, insults, rudeness. Evil words in relation to the individual, ridicule of certain qualities - a direct path to the creation of complexes.

Reasons for low self-esteem and self-doubt in this video:

How to increase self-esteem?

How to develop self-confidence? Do not think that self-esteem can not be changed You will have to endure fears and anxieties all your life.

In fact, also like self-esteem is quite possible.

Psychologists have developed effective methods that really lead to amazing results..

How is a Dembo-Rubinstein self-assessment study conducted? find out right now.

Tablets

How to build self-confidence with medication? There are no pills for gaining confidence. Psychologists say that you can not drink medicine and become confident. This is achieved gradually, by studying oneself.

Although there are no pills to give confidence, there are drugs to relieve anxiety and excessive anxiety:

• valerian extract;
• Motherwort Forte;
• Novo-Passit;
• Afobazole;
• Glycine.

They take drugs only after consulting with a specialist, who prescribes the dosage, duration of administration.

Will pills help to feel self-confidence? These drugs help a person become calm, balanced. He is not visited by anxiety and irritability. However, to raise self-esteem, you will have to solve the issue not with the help of pills.

Confidence Building Books

How to believe in yourself? Reading books is one of the best ways to build self-esteem and build self-confidence.

They help a person solve the problem yourself without the help of specialists.

• Tony Buzan "Teach Yourself to Think".
• Anthony Roberts Secrets of Self-Confidence.
• Smith Manuel J.
• Klyuchnikov S.Yu. "The Art of Self-Management".
• Andrew Matthews "Happiness here and now".
• Og Mandino "Choice".
• Vladimir Salamatov "Cure for self-doubt".
• Susan Jeffers "Be afraid, but act!"

It is important not just to read books, but to analyze new information. You should think carefully about everything, write down motivating quotes in a notebook and read them every day. It will also help you become more confident.

Films that raise self-esteem

How to gain self-confidence? Movies will help to cope with internal fears and experiences. It's hard to pick just one. There are a number of films that build self-confidence:

• "Dangerous Minds"
• "Forrest Gump".
• "Good Will Hunting"
• "The Pursuit of Happyness".
• "Peaceful Warrior"
• "The Incredible Life of Walter Mitty".

The main characters of these films anyway encountered difficulties, condemnation of others. They did not stop believing in themselves even in the most difficult moments, thanks to this they came to success.

How to stop being afraid of a fight? you will find on our website.

How to become self-confident? The main component of confidence:

No confidence: what to do in yourself? To overcome complexes, to become self-confident, you need to listen to the advice of a psychologist:

1. You should remember your merits. You need to understand that you can find many positive traits in yourself.
2. Do not listen to pessimists, skeptics who say that nothing will come of it. They cannot know it. A person is capable of much, if he really wants it. No need to depend on someone else's opinion.
3. Stop thinking that others notice only flaws. People around notice a lot of virtues, strive to make friends. Not everyone is critical and negative.
4. We need to get rid of perfectionism. Some people are determined to achieve the ideal, they do everything possible for this, they invest a lot of energy. You should not torture yourself, work excessively to achieve the ideal. He is unattainable. Working on yourself will not hurt for development, but you should not overwork yourself.
5. There is no need to be too humble and reserved. This is sometimes mistaken for pride and arrogance, which makes it difficult to find friends.

If at first it is not possible to achieve the desired result, confidence does not come, it should be portrayed.

When a person will pretend to be confident and bold over time it really will. This is an effective method that has helped many people in practice.

Courage Exercises

It is better to start from this day, set yourself up in a positive way.

Praise yourself for your successes and accomplishments. When looking in the mirror, you should blow a kiss to yourself.

Helps develop courage "Confident Breath". To do this, close your eyes, calm down, sit comfortably.

It should be imagined that the air is saturated with confidence and with each breath a person is filled with it. Breathing can be rhythmic, relaxed, or intense. A person chooses the rhythm of breathing himself. The exercise lasts 3-5 minutes.

An effective exercise in which you need to write down your pluses and achievements on a piece of paper. You need to think carefully, you can write down the answers in the form of a table. This will help you understand yourself better.

Training to learn how to behave and speak confidently

How to remove complexes and love yourself?

For training "Ball" A person will need the help of relatives and friends. You need to stand in a circle, throw the ball to each other, or pass around in a circle, saying compliments. This will help you open up and stop worrying.

Training "Strong-weak". A person is invited to write on a piece of paper the features of a strong and successful person, and then the complete opposite - a weak and unsuccessful one. You can depict these people, their walk, behavior.

Training "Life Attitudes". You should think about your desires, goals. Then, on a piece of paper, write down tips for yourself to achieve them. Every morning a piece of advice is read.

positive attitude

Most successful people optimists.

They smile and are friendly. It is a pleasure to spend time in their company, to communicate with them.

In order to become self-confident and successful, you should accustom yourself to positive perception of reality.

Before going outside in the morning, you should listen to light, cheerful music. You can read jokes. This will help you deal with difficulties more easily. In a gloomy mood, all the problems seem more grandiose than they really are.

It is quite possible to form self-confidence, but this will require the efforts of the person himself. It is necessary to perform special exercises, follow the advice of psychologists, understand yourself. Gradually disappear fears and worries, build confidence in yourself and your abilities.

How to overcome self-doubt? 5 ways to regain your confidence:

7 tricks that will increase self-esteem
- 2 Powerful Self-Esteem Exercises
- 11 ways to increase self-confidence

1) Always remember your strengths.
For personal use only, make a list of your inherent strengths and what you are really good at. Be honest with yourself and avoid false modesty. Review this list every week and add new items if possible.

2) Watch your health.
If you are in good shape, you can achieve a lot. Regular physical exercise, which you enjoy doing, develops strength, perseverance and increases stress resistance. Eat a healthy diet and get enough sleep. Breaks for rest, time for relaxation and time for yourself should become as integral a part of your daily routine as, for example, brushing your teeth. Enjoy the fact that you look good and try to take everything from life.

3) Keep calm and try to alleviate stress.
Avoid hustle and bustle. Develop stress resistance. Simple relaxation and stress management techniques will soothe your body and mind and become your lifeline. Find time for relaxation every day - at least five minutes. Practice mindfulness for at least a minute every day. Those few minutes will bring a big return.

4) Remember your rights.
Here are some of them: you have the right to your own opinion, to be treated with respect and as an equal, not to be insulted, to be listened to. You have the right to make a mistake, to fail, and to try again.

5) Plan, prioritize and be organized.
You need to know where you are now, where you want to go and how you plan to get there. Know exactly what you want. Weigh everything carefully and plan. Decide what your first step will be and take it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed. Whatever challenge you face, prepare for it. If possible, rehearse your actions in advance, such as giving a presentation. Pay due attention to this, and you will not only prepare for the upcoming event, but also increase your confidence and self-esteem.

6) Body language.
Move and speak confidently, and you will not only look like it, but actually feel like it. Raise your head, relax your shoulders and body, and make eye contact with the other person. Show calmness and confidence when you open the door and enter the room. An open posture, a firm handshake, a calm voice will show the interlocutor that you are glad to see him and communicate with him. Your speech should be clear, rhythmic, and infect with enthusiasm. Show your sincere interest and you can show yourself as a charismatic speaker!

7) Visualize.
One of the easiest and most effective ways to build willpower is through visualization.
All you have to do is imagine a situation in which you want to feel more confident. Try to get a detailed image, then for a few minutes, work through the situation in your mind step by step, coping with any difficulties that you think may arise. The task may sound strange, but it is easy to complete, and the technique works.

- 2 Powerful Self-Esteem Exercises

Exercise 1: You as an asset. How to develop self-confidence and raise self-esteem based on previous experience.

People with low self-esteem and self-doubt do not value themselves, their experience, their knowledge, their past achievements, their skills. They say -
“Well, it happened by chance, I was just lucky”, “oh yes, this is nonsense.” Just remember that accidents are not accidental.

If you yourself do not appreciate yourself and your achievements, who else will appreciate you? First you learn to appreciate yourself, and then others around you will catch up.

Get a notebook that will be your "diary of success." By simply keeping a diary, you can achieve sustainable personal growth, develop the skill of analyzing situations, changing yourself, and forming the desired qualities of character.

Remember your past experience and life stages: work, youth, studying at a university, school in different classes. What successes, successes, victories, awards, achievements, skills, positive personal qualities did you have? What obstacles did you overcome to get them? Write it all down with your progress in your diary.

Write down everything you remember in your notebook. Consciousness is able to displace (forget) insignificant events. And such events are clearly underestimated in you. You will need several attempts to remember everything and do not require yourself to remember everything now. Just do this exercise for a few days. When you remember something, write it down.

Daily experience.
People tend to pay more attention to negative events and forget, belittle their dignity. It is recommended that every day, mentally go through the events of the day, remember what you did today. Remember your small daily victories that you did not notice during the day, good luck, new opportunities, qualities.

Do the exercise for several weeks or even months until you have a stable habit, a new habit of noticing and appreciating any of your small achievements, noticing even small opportunities.
You will be surprised how effective this will be for you. It is from such “small” achievements that strong self-confidence is formed, stable high self-esteem and a successful life are developed.

Exercise 2: Subconscious changes or how to gain self-confidence and raise self-esteem from deep within.

Do you have grievances, doubts?

Remember the movie "Gentlemen of Fortune"? One of the main characters was constantly offended by the other: “I tell him - I have the flu, and he: - Get into the water, get into the water!” Because of this resentment, he forgot that he was forced to climb into the water to hide that very golden helmet. Which they could not remember where they hid and find, the whole movie.

It's the same in life because of resentment, we concentrate on the bad, and lose sight of the opportunities. And over time, it hurts self-esteem.

Write down in your diary all the grievances that bother you at the moment, and that you can remember. Then release everything on the list. Then record and release again and again until you release everything. Soon you will need exactly a couple of seconds to let go of resentment.

- 11 ways to increase self-confidence

1) Get ready. You can rely on impromptu only in unforeseen situations, in everything else you must carefully prepare. Confidence comes from preparation and knowing that you know enough.

2) Use correct body language. Do not stoop, look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, relax your body.

3) Pay attention to the voice. When you mumble or speak insecurely, then between you and the interlocutor there is a conversation on an intuitive level: you know that he knows that you are not confident in yourself. Which makes you even more uncomfortable. Don't be loud or quiet, don't chatter, control your voice.

4) Develop optimism and positive thinking. This means that you must develop a certain attitude towards your failures and mistakes. Once failure stops worrying you, half the job is done. Be persistent.

5) Vicarial learning. It is observing the achievements of others. This includes both working with successful people, masters of their craft, and reading biographies. Don't skimp on any of these methods. This way you can see how people cope with the difficulties that you also face.

6) Verbal persuasion. Oddly enough, even the banal thought “Come on, you can do it” is much more effective than a train of thought that inspires fear. If you take the time to talk to yourself for at least a few minutes, the effect will be even stronger. At the same time, it is important to understand that such phrases should become a habit, and not be used occasionally.

7) Increase your emotional intelligence. A confident person will never experience inappropriate emotions. He is in complete control of what he feels and does not allow negative and destructive emotions to take him by surprise.

8) Action, action, action. Pull yourself together and start doing something. It doesn't really matter how valuable these actions are. When we are not confident in ourselves, we cannot get down to business and bring at least something to the end. You need things done, you need to show yourself that you can do it.

9) Know yourself. Before going into battle, a wise general carefully examines his enemy. You cannot defeat the enemy without knowing him. When it comes to developing self-confidence, your biggest enemy is yourself. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about what you think, analyze the causes of negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, about what you can do better than many people, about what you like. Start reflecting on your limitations and whether they are real. Know yourself.

10) Focus on solving problems. If you are a complainer or problem-focused, change your focus. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for confidence.

11) Clear the work area. It may seem insignificant, but just do it. Uncertainty comes from confusion, don't add it to your life even on a physical level.

The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site

Don't lose. Subscribe and receive a link to the article in your email.

There is an opinion that self-confidence is something more than just knowledge and skills. Of course, this is not entirely true, but there is a grain of truth in this thought. A self-confident person finds it easier to get what he wants, while an insecure person is characterized by doubts and procrastination.

Every day, every hour and every minute we decide how we will behave. And if we do not do it consciously, then we will only react to the circumstances and requirements of other people. Confidence is necessary in order to take all possible actions in order to get what you want.

If you don't feel confident, you automatically become insecure. It may seem that calmness and measuredness are what lies between confidence and uncertainty, but in fact they are just part of confidence.

Think of confidence as a kind of desire, on the way to which there is an obstacle - external or internal. Internal may be fear or doubt. External - lack of money or experience. But even in this case, we are still talking, rather, about internal obstacles. You see a goal, but are afraid of the imaginary pain that you imagine, and come up with dozens of reasons why you can’t achieve it.

This article is a guide to confidence for anyone who wants to believe in themselves and get rid of their fears. Or at least start acting without looking back at them.

Self-esteem and self-confidence

Self-esteem is a person's idea of ​​the importance of his personality, evaluating himself and his own feelings and qualities, advantages and disadvantages. There are three levels of self-esteem: low, adequate and high.

With low self-esteem, a person tends to often criticize himself (and even when it is inappropriate), to perceive criticism in his address painfully, to please others in order to increase his self-esteem.

High self-esteem is the opposite of low self-esteem. Often associated with exalting oneself and one's merits, inadequate assessment of one's own significance, etc. Inflated self-esteem, if it is fueled not only by imagination, but also by real qualities and successes, is not always a negative phenomenon. A person with high self-esteem can be both self-confident (which is bad) and driving (which is good). In the latter state, he believes in his own strength so much that he receives a fair amount of motivation and even good luck, due to which he succeeds in everything, no matter what he undertakes.

Adequate self-esteem is an ideal state for professionals in their field, people who are not outrageous and who know their own worth. With this level of self-esteem, a person can learn from their mistakes, take criticism normally, and gradually move towards success.

Considering the foregoing, you need to understand that adequate self-esteem is good, but a relevant inflated self-esteem can also come in handy. Miracles happen when there is a balance between the two.

Factors that affect self-confidence

Factors that affect our self-esteem and self-confidence are also internal and external. But since they often intersect and form each other, we will consider them together.

People around

Successful, self-confident people avoid pessimists or those who constantly doubt. They, like no one else, understand that the environment affects how a person thinks. So rule number one: Surround yourself with confident people.

Lack of sleep and malnutrition

It is hard to imagine a self-confident rock man who eats poorly and does not pay attention to his health. You can do self-hypnosis as much as you like, but if the body fails you, then this will also affect.

A person who has not slept well cannot be self-confident for the reason that this requires great willpower. Willpower is an energy that must be replenished through sleep and rest.

Willpower Level

If you have ever struggled with yourself, getting rid of a bad habit or instilling a good one, and lost, then know that 50% of the time it was due to a lack of willpower. It is needed in order to wake up in the morning, asking yourself the question “How confident am I in myself?” and having received the answer “Not at all sure”, you could immediately pull yourself together and start implementing the recommendations (which will be discussed later).

It turns out a vicious circle. You cannot become confident because you are not sure of yourself. Willpower training will help you get out of the vicious circle. You can instantly cheer up, feel faith in your strength, if you really want it. It's like when you lie exhausted on the bed after work, and then you get an invitation to a cool party and the forces instantly appear. The thing is, they never disappeared.

Willpower allows access to inner strength. You just have to want.

Competence/confidence loop

Psychologists have long noticed one interesting pattern. The more one engages in any activity, the more confident one becomes. Two conclusions follow from this: good and not very good. The good news is that confidence will come as you start gaining experience and improving your skills. Not very good in that it will take time.

But in this case, we are talking about the purest self-confidence. The one that becomes second nature to you.

Level of fear and doubt

Take good care of yourself. The next time you feel insecure, listen to exactly how you feel. Most likely, it will be fear or doubt. Therefore, the first step is the ability to recognize them and honestly admit to yourself that you are afraid or doubtful.

Fear and doubt are accompanied by the same thoughts or questions. For example:

• What if they refuse me?
• What if I don't succeed?
• I can not.
• Anything but this.

We are afraid of pain, often far-fetched. Ask yourself other questions, preferably in writing. Analyze why you think the way you do. Is everything really that bad?

Inner voice

What words do you say to yourself immediately after waking up? What words do you say to yourself when you go to bed? What words do you say to yourself when faced with difficulties?

stress and pressure

Failing to deal with stress and pressure can kill confidence. It is important not only to deal with them, but also to notice them in time. If it's hard to notice, then plan ahead for a mini-vacation. You can't go wrong with such things - tension will still arise.

How to increase self-confidence

With all of the above in mind, let's get down to the ways in which it will be possible to develop self-confidence.

get ready. You can rely on impromptu only in unforeseen situations, in everything else you must carefully prepare. The speaker must learn his speech and practice gestures, but at the same time he must learn a lot of additional information - just in order to increase the level of competence. A businessman must not only know how to create a company, but also understand the characteristics of the product, marketing, and sales. Confidence comes from preparation and knowing that you know enough.

Use proper body language. Google "Power Pose", go to the pictures section and practice some power poses. If some of them seem too pretentious to you, do the minimum - do not stoop, look directly into the eyes of the interlocutor, relax your body.

Pay attention to the voice. When you mumble or speak insecurely, then between you and the interlocutor there is a conversation on an intuitive level: you know that he knows that you are not confident in yourself. Which makes you even more uncomfortable. Don't be loud or quiet, don't chatter, control your voice.

Cultivate optimism and positive thinking. This means that you must develop a certain attitude towards your failures and mistakes. Once failure stops worrying you, half the job is done. Be persistent.

Vicarial teaching. It is observing the achievements of others. This includes both working with successful people, masters of their craft, and reading biographies. Don't skimp on any of these methods. This way you can see how people cope with the difficulties that you also face.

verbal persuasion. Oddly enough, even the banal thought “Come on, you can do it” is much more effective than a train of thought that inspires fear. If you take the time to talk to yourself for at least a few minutes, the effect will be even stronger. At the same time, it is important to understand that such phrases should become a habit, and not be used occasionally.

Boost your emotional intelligence. A confident person will never experience inappropriate situations. He is in complete control of what he feels and does not allow negative and destructive emotions to take him by surprise.

Action, action, action. Pull yourself together and start doing something. It doesn't really matter how valuable these actions are. You can water the plants in the house and feel a huge surge of strength and energy. Have you noticed that when you do nothing, you get even more tired? When we are not confident in ourselves, we cannot get down to business and bring at least something to the end. You need things done, you need to show yourself that you can do it.

Know yourself. Before going into battle, a wise general carefully examines his enemy. You cannot defeat the enemy without knowing him. When it comes to developing self-confidence, your biggest enemy is yourself. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about what you think, analyze the causes of negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, about what you can do better than many people, about what you like. Start reflecting on your limitations and whether they are real. .

Focus on problem solving. If you are a complainer or problem-focused, change your focus. Focusing on solutions instead of problems is one of the best things you can do for confidence.

Clear your workspace. It may seem insignificant, but just do it. Uncertainty comes from confusion, don't add it to your life even on a physical level.

Features of the confidence of men and women

For men, self-confidence is the ability to act, to perform confident and measured actions, to achieve mastery in something. Men are motivated by the achievement of goals, success, it is important for them to measure it concretely.

Women increase self-confidence with the help of self-esteem, as well as an inner worldview. If it is sometimes enough for men to behave confidently and receive a surge of strength through actions and deeds, then for women it all starts from the inside.

A woman will not be able to feel confident in herself if she does not feel comfortable in the situation. Having found peace inside, she is able to believe in herself. At the same time, external factors are of great importance for women, which are then comprehended internally: her appearance, gait, received compliments.

Speaking about self-esteem as the main character of female self-confidence, it is worth saying that it is formed from many factors: addiction, social anxiety, general anxiety, shame, depression, inferiority, helplessness, perfectionism (and its consequences - procrastination).

There are several ways you can improve your self-esteem:

• Change history. We all have a self-image that shapes our self-perception and on which our core image is based. If we want to change it, we must understand where it comes from. Is this our personal opinion? Sometimes automatic negative thoughts such as "you're fat" or "you're lazy" can be repeated in the mind so often that a person begins to believe that they are true, even if they are not. But what do you really want to believe? Repeat this to yourself every day.
• Be aware. We cannot change something until we admit that it needs to be changed. Simply by becoming aware of our negative self-regulation, we begin to distance ourselves from the feelings it evokes. This allows you to identify with them to a lesser extent. But without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap of believing in our limited potential, and as meditation teacher Allan Lokos burns: “Don't believe everything you think. Thoughts are just thoughts."
• Set up a new channel. Albert Einstein once said: “We are all geniuses. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, then it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” We all have strengths and weaknesses. Someone can be a brilliant musician but a terrible cook. No single quality defines your core value. Recognize what your strengths are. Ask yourself: “Have you ever been in a situation in your life where my self-esteem went up? What was/was I doing at that moment?
• Remember that you are not a product of circumstances.. By accepting your imperfection, you create the potential for growth. With this knowledge, one can grow freely and not be afraid of failures that do not change the core value.

What books can you read

To develop self-confidence and make it a personality trait, you need to work hard on yourself. To do this, you need to not only follow these tips every day, but also analyze yourself, do not stop improving, read books on this topic. Here is some of them:

• Dale Carnegie How to Build Self-Confidence and Influence People by Speaking in Public.
• Robert Anthony "Secrets of Self-Confidence".
• Alice Muir self-confidence. A book to work on yourself.
• Amy Cuddy Presence of Spirit.
• Malcolm Gladwell "David and Goliath"

We can also recommend you videos with Tony Robbins, which you can find on YouTube: pay attention to what he says, how he speaks and how he behaves. Robbins can be a great role model for many who want to be confident.

We wish you good luck!